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*Despre britanici bănuiam că s-au țicnit încă de când au pus botul la vrăjeala lui Nigel Farage, îl știți, vadimul ăla reșapat care, după ce i-a scos din UE, le-a zis pa și pusi și s-a dus să-l pupe pe Putin pe portofel. Dar nu-mi imaginam să fie atât de țicniți încât să ofere premiul ”Prezentatorul anului” tocmai unui ziarist de mâna a șaptea și de ziua a șaptea, răspopitul Mihai Gâdea. Nu știu dacă Voiculescu a cinstit cu ceva masa, cum se întâmplă de obicei la competițiile astea gurnalistice, unde Antena 3 își cumpără premiile sau o fi fost vreo întâlnire între adventiști, dar este cert că s-a făcut o greșeală. Bine, bă, englezoii lui fish-fingers, voi v-ați uitat la Gâdea, dar pe Capatos l-ați văzut? Pe Simona Gherghe, pe Mămăruță, nu mai zic de Medelin Ionescu? Ăștia prezentatori, tati, nu Gâdea, care ce face? Ține toată seara o predică lungă, pe nas, repetând aceleași mantre pentru spălații pe creier – doar că nu zice ”Hare Krishna”, ci ”Jos Codruța”, și-n rest treaba i-o fac colegii. Păi ce-ar fi fost Gâdea fără Ciuvică sau Badea, să-i ridice mingi la fileu? Ce-ar fi fost fără Chirieac, Radu Tudor, nu mai zic de Dana Grecu, care chiar merita să fie ”Prezentatorul anului”, nu de alta, dar n-ar fi crezut nimeni că e prezentatoare…

*Ei, dar ca să vedeți cât e de modest și de patriot e domnul Gâdea, aflați că ieri, după ce a fost premiat de englezi, el a declarat că ar fi primit numeroase oferte de a lucra în străinătate, dar le-a refuzat, fiindcă ”Antena 3 este familia mea.” Cine l-o fi contactat, n-a precizat, dar bănuiesc că e vorba de cunoscutele televiziuni ”Baluba 3” din Botswana, ”Russia Today/Nishte derbedei” și, evident, ”Televiziunea Kim Jong-Trei”, că Kim Jong-Unu și Kim Jong-Doi aveau deja destui propagandiști și lătrăi. Carevasăzică, Răspopitul rămâne în continuare cu noi, să ne cânte, popește, seară de seară, predici despre sistemul iohannisto-soroșist, despre vânduții cu tot cu cățel din Piața Victoriei și despre cât de neprihăniți sunt tovarășii Dragnea și Tăriceanu, dar justiția coruptă vrea să-i bage la beci. Bravo, Mihăiță, așa te vreau, patriot, tati! Cum să pleci tu în Botswana, să lucrezi pe moneda locală, când aici primești, vorba aia, ”the real thing” de la Dan Voiculescu?

*Nu știu dacă sunteți cititori constanți ai Evenimentului zilei, dar cu siguranță o să deveniți după ce o să citiți articolele unei fătuci de acolo, pre numele ei Antonia Hendrik. Are fata asta un talent excepțional și de la Hașek și Tudor Mușatescu încoace n-am citit mai haios. Și vă exemplific doar cu cel mai recent articolaș al ei, ia fiți atenți: ”CALUL TROIAN nu era un CAL! Descoperire ȘOCANTĂ: era o NAVĂ feniciană.” Ei, ce v-am zis eu? Asta știre, frate, ziarizm de înaltă clasă. Când citești așa ceva, troglodit să fii și tot te macină curiozitatea: cum, bă, calul nu era cal, ci navă feniciană? Ce-i aia feniciană? Nu se zicea navă extraterestră, parcă? Și dai click pe mouse, fătuca și-a făcut trafic, iar tu afli o nouă ipoteză senzațională, lansată de un guțulan de care n-a auzit nici mă-sa. Păi bine, fa, Antonico, dar nu vă-nvață și pe voi nenea Curea ăla sau cine mai e jupân pe-acolo, că o știre trebuie să fie de interes public? Ce-i mai interesează pe cititorii de poze ai Evz că era calul troian navă sau mârțoagă? Adu, fetică, știrea în realitate, ca s-o faci interesantă. Pentru că uite, dacă scrii, pur și simplu, că nu era cal, era navă, cititorii mai destupați la creier o să-și pună întrebarea: bine, bine, dar cum dracu au băgat ăia nava în cetate? Vezi, ce-ți spuneam? Pe când, dacă scriai ”Calul troian nu era cal, era o navă, și a fost băgată în cetate de căpitanul ei, care era foarte ciumeg și putea să conducă vaporul și pe uscat, fiind adevăratul strămoș al lui Traian Băsescu”, era cu totul altceva și nici nu știi ce bucurie îi făceai și duduii care vă sponsorizează generos, Nuțica Udrea…

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