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*Enterocolita verbală a sinistrului Slugărel Toader a produs aseară o explozie de entuziasm printre mâncătorii de maro de la Latrina 3 și Ghiță TV, care s-au bucurat de parcă li se dublase porția. Care mai de care gudureii s-au înghesuit să-l ridice în slăvi pe jenibilul Dorel care tocmai dăduse cu ascuțitu în ideea de justiție. Bunăoară, la România TV celebrul sondor Marius Pieleapuțeanu sau ceva de genul ăsta, a declarat, fără să clipească: ”În seara asta înregistrăm nu numai un act de curaj din partea lui Tudorel Toader ci și nașterea unui om politic care poate fi bărbat de stat. Românii au simțit înaintea noastră potențialul din acest om. Acum câteva luni, Tudorel Toader era o opțiune pentru președinție. Nu cred că cineva până azi a putut să facă o analiză atât de analitică și de pertinentă asupra unui sistem despre care tot se vorbește la televizor, mai bine decât Tudorel Toader. Eu pentru asta, poate că sunt subiectiv, îl felicit”, a precizat expertul în sondaje. Am crezut că nu aud bine: un sclavete bâlbâit, desființat, după prestația de aseară, chiar de colegii lui, profesori de drept, să fie, de fapt, ”o opțiune pentru președinție”? Alo, domnu Marusică, înțeleg că-ți place ce au ăia la bufetul România TV, dar vezi că ai dat-o în supradoză și aiurezi. Tudorel nu e nicidecum o opțiune pentru președinție, ci cel mult o opțiune pentru preș – deci dragi cititori, dacă aveți nevoie de ceva de care să vă ștergeți pantofii, el pare opțiunea perfectă, deși, la cât s-a șters Dragnea, după ce-a intrat în tot felul de rahaturi, v-aș sfătui să-l băgați mai întâi în mașina de spălat, că altfel vă-mpute toată casa!

*Excesul de bufet provoacă însă reacții variate: dacă în cazul lui Pieleapuțeanu a determinat o euforie vecină cu beția, în cazul veșnic frustratului Mircea Badea s-a lăsat cu o criză de nervi cu spume la gură. Vuvuzel nu s-a indignat de prostiile debitate de Slugărel, ci de faptul că unii ziariști din sală au avut îndrăzneala să-i spună sclavului penalilor că bate câmpii. În consecință, Mirci s-a dezlănțuit oral la adresa lui Cătălin Tolontan și a unei ziariste de la Realitatea TV: ”Descreierații mitomanei au avut un comportament odios, specific javrelor! Nu am văzut așa ceva în viața mea. Javrele securiste au bruiat cu agresivitate prezentarea unui raport oficial. La ce s-a ajuns în țara asta!!!!!” Păi normal că n-ai văzut așa ceva în viața ta, băi giumbix. Mai scoate și tu capul din revistele alea cu gagici goale și pagini lipite și mai du-te și tu pe la conferințe de presă, să vezi ce se întâmplă. Și în altă ordine de idei, Mircică nu te-am văzut la fel de indignat și când a avut Codruța conferință de presă și Tolontan a întrerupt-o, de asemenea, punându-i întrebări delicate. Atunci păreai chiar bucuros c-o întrerupe cu asemenea întrebări, parcă de Voiculescu însuși dictate, iar acum a devenit Tolo, dintr-o dată, ”javră securistă”? Prietene, în locul tău aș fi mai atent cu apelativele astea: dacă zice Dom Profesor Voiculescu că ai făcut o aluzie  la el și drept pedeapsă nu mai primești bucă tot weekendul?

*Dar dacă vreți cu adevărat să vă distrați cu băieții ăștia care trăiesc într-o realitate paralelă, dar de mâncat mănâncă rahat real, tot din banii noștri, furați de patronii lor din diferite combinații cu statul, luați un Emetiral pentru siguranță, luați-vă și niște cizme de cauciuc în picioare, să nu călcați în vreun articol mai moale, și aventurați-vă pe site-ul luju.ro. Aseară,  aici a fost delir  și toată lumea a sărbătorit. Iată, de pareczampl, mostră de titlu de la băieții ăștia zgubilitici: ”BYE BYE LULU! – Tudorel Toader cere revocarea Laurei Kovesi din fruntea DNA. Excepțional Raport științific al ministrului Justiției despre necesitatea revocării șefei DNA pentru management deficitar cu consecințe nefaste pentru România: record de conflicte constituționale între puterile statului; premisele blocării activității legiuitorului; sfidarea Parlamentului; anchete în afara cadrului legal; implicarea în anchetele altor procurori; încercarea de a obține condamnări cu orice preț (Raport)” Da, ăsta e titlul, iar articolul repetă, în mare, cam același lucru, începând cu o propoziție de sobră deontologie jurnalistică: Kovesi e distrusă! Alo, răspândacii, mai subțire cu veselia asta, că nu-i a bună și după mult râs vine plâns. Așteptați mai bine să vedeți ce spune și nenea președintele, pentru că s-ar putea să vă strice jucăria și o să rămâneți cu buzica așa umflată încât și Gâdea, cu buzele alea de trei ocale bucata o să fie invidios pe voi. Dar ce voiam eu să spun? Nu vă întreb de unde ați tras concluzia că însăilarea aia imbecilă scremută aproape două  ore de Slugărel ar fi ”excepțional raport științific”, dar aș vrea să știu: i-ați cerut și voi ministrului să dea o bere fiindcă v-a plagiat cu nesimțire, căci raportul lui anti-Kovesi juri că e scris de voi, în coproducție cu Antena 3, Ghiță și băbălanul ăla de Cosma Jr?

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