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*Fiindcă se apropie Crăciunul și probabil mațul gros cu care cugetă simțea nevoia să bage-n el niște porcării, marele sondor al națiunii, Marius Pieleapuțeanu (sau cum îl cheamă, că v-am zis, mereu uit!) a mai realizat un sondaj de mare angajament, prezentat la România TV. Nu știu dacă sondajul a fost făcut prin telefon, exclusiv printre gospodinele pesedizde care, între două sarmale umplute și-un caltaboș pus la fiert și-au făcut timp să-i răspundă la întrebări, dar așa pare. Nu de alta, dar nimeni altcineva decât un lobotomizat ar mai putea crede în PSD după ce un an de zile mafioții ăștia n-au făcut altceva decât să scoată pușcăriașii de la bulău. Cum stau procentele, în opinia lui Marusică-conștiință-mică? Păi cum să stea: PSD 46%, adică mai mult decât au avut în decembrie, PNL 23%, ALDE 13% (normal, că doar o cinsti și conu Tăriceanu masa măcar cu niște răcituri), USR 5% și PMP 4%, deci nu mai intră-n Parlament, că zgârcitul ăla de Băsescu n-o fi dat nici măcar o bucată de șoric, să mănâncă și gura lui Pieleapuțeanu ceva. Și dacă mai sunt în sală domni care se vor întreba, speriați, ”Mă, dar dacă chiar astea sunt cifrele?” eu le zic să stea liniștiți, căci sondorii ăștia după ce că sunt proști, se mai cacă și-n drum și se dau singuri de gol. Astfel, după ce susține că PSD ar câștiga iar alegerile cu aproape 50%, fripturistul de la Avangarde  dă cu bâta-n baltă, zicând că, tot potrivit cifrelor, 65% dintre români sunt convinși că România se îndreaptă într-o direcție greșită. Păi bine mă, boul bălții, dacă 65% dintre români nu sunt mulțumiți de cum merge treaba cu guvernul ăsta de hoți și imbecili, de ce ar mai vrea, logic vorbind, 46% dintre alegători să-l voteze în continuare? Bă, chiar ne credeți proști pe toți? Ziceți mai bine că următoarele alegeri nu vor mai avea loc, ci în Parlament se va intra doar după cum dictează sondajele Avangarde. Păi ori sunteți mafioți, ori nu mai sunteți?

*Nu știu ce fumează băieții ăștia de pe siteurile pupincuriste, dar le-aș recomanda să țină țigările mai la adăpost, că altfel trag umezeala și le dau numai vise umede. Cum i-au dat de pildă unui nene de la site-ul inpolitics.ro, Bogdan Tiberiu Iacob, care titrează: ”Marea Lovitură: Va ataca PSD Cotrocenii cu Margareta?” Zgubiliticul ăsta înșiră ditamai cearșaful  căutând să ne explice că pesediștii sunt topiți după Regina Margarina și și-ar da nu doar viața, ci și mustața, iahtul și insulele pentru ea! În opinia sa, doamna Duda e singura capabilă să-l învingă pe Iohannis la prezidențiale, mai ales dacă va flutura ideea reinstaurării monarhiei. Bogdănele, Tiberică, matale ai încercat și o meserie utilă? Să te faci frizer, sculer-matrițer, să iasă ceva din mâinile tale, că la analize politice ești praf, bă-băiatule. Or fi votanții pesediști proști bâtă, dar sunt mândri că sunt români, fraiere, cum naiba-i convingeți, după ce le-ați umplut creierul neted ca fundul de bebeluș cu ideea că Iohannis nu trebuie votat, că e neamț, deci venetic, să o voteze pe Margarina, care tot din neam de  nemți se trage? Așa că lasă-te, bă, de meserie, presa e greu, ia mai bine o straiță la tine, ia-ți un buhai, apucă-te de cântat colinde, să câștigi și tu un ban cinstit de Sărbători și fugi cu ursul!

*Ca să încheiem într-o manieră destinsă, după ce ne-am enervat cu papițoii ăștia autoproclamați sondori sau analiști, i-auziți ce titrează ziarul Cancan: ”Răzbunarea porcului, de Crăciun! Ce trebuie să faci dacă animalul te muşcă”. Ei, este că nu v-ați gândit la varianta asta? Și totuși, după cum se precizează în articol, numeroși români ajung la Urgență chiar și cu răni grave, din pricină că n-au un porc înțelegător și, în loc să stea la cuțit, se repede spre ei să-i halească de vii, mai ales când îi simte că-s și cu țuica-n nas. Într-adevăr, un articol de mare interes public și care trebuie neapărat citit, deși în contextul actual eu aș fi dat un alt titlu: ”Răzbunarea porcilor de Crăciun: ce faci dacă animalul se-apucă să-ți voteze legi?”

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