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*Pentru că pușcăriabilii cu acte, ca să zicem așa, tot fuseseră chemați la Antena 3 și mai plecaseră și ei, de Paște, pe la cășilii lor, care prin Madagascar, care prin Caraibe, să petreacă tradițional de Înviere, Antena 3 ne-a făcut surpriza să cheme în studio pe cineva care  nu e pușcăriabil, dar nu trebuie să vă pierdeți speranța. Ce vreți, așa e în presa mioritică: dacă la alții papa, în Săptămâna Mare, spală picioarele păcătoșilor, la noi, tot în Săptămâna Mare, gurnaliștii spală imaginea păcătoaselor, pe papa-bun. Și așa ne-am pomenit cu Gabriela Firea, mai evlavioasă ca un sobor de maici, invitată să vorbească despre cele sfinte și nu numai la emisiunea Sandrei Stoicescu, fosta ei colegă de prompter.

De astă dată, generăleasa n-a mai fost surprinsă, cum i s-a întâmplat când a venit Gâdea peste ea în ședință la Primărie și Țoapa avea deja lavaliera pusă la gât; acum nu avea lavalieră, dar purta, cu totul întâmplător, desigur, o ditamai crucea, să moară maneliștii de necaz și să să vază, vere, cât e ea de credincioasă, da? Pioasa lui Pandelică a vorbit despre proiectele ei și ne-a promis că vom avea Spital Metropolitan, fiindcă a rezolvat ea cu paviana și se face. Deocamdată, se lucrează la studiul de prefezabilitate, pe urmă vine studiul de fezabilitate, apoi încă un studiu de postfezabilitate, altul de ultramegafezabilitate și pe urmă noi oricum o să fim atât de bătrâni și o să murim, așa că de ce ne-ar mai interesa dacă spitalul se va face sau nu? Pentru că mimoza de Stoiceasca nu îi punea nicio întrebare delicată, să nu o jeneze la Kundalini și să-i strice aura energetică pă rozaliu, probabil, Țoapa Generală a luat ea taurul de coarne și a declarat că n-a mai răspuns, în ultima vreme, criticilor care o tot întreabă unde-i traficul ăla minunat, unde-s asfaltările, liniile unice, autobuzele, tramvaiele, centura aia grozavă pe patru benzi, nu pentru că n-ar avea ce le răspunde, ci pentru că în Săptămâna Mare ea e mai bună, mai specială, și întoarce și celălalt obraz. Normal, își și permite: voi, dac-ați avea obrazul cât al ei nu l-ați întoarce și v-ar durea la bașcheți, că oricum n-ați simți nimic?

Am aflat, cu acest prilej, că preamironosița ține post încă de când era mică. Ei, cu asta sunt de acord: uitați-vă cum arăta Gabriela Firea când abia dejugase boii la marginea Bucureștiului și luase o piatră-n gură, că intra prima oară în Capitală, și cum arată acum. Atunci era slabă, pricăjită, ținea post și la haine, cred, că în toate pozele apărea cu un singur sacou, și-ăla comunist. Pe când acum? Priviți-o! O splendoare: tot un roz, tot un sclipici, tot un rafinament, pariez că găina Iuliei Albu dă în icter mecanic de invidie când o vede. Duduia Firea a lăudat virtuțile postului, care te face mai bun și sunt convins că, auzind-o, fazanii de pensionari care au votat-o și care n-au primit și ei măcar două sute din pensie, să aibă ce pune pe masă de Paște, s-au simțit, dintr-o dată, sătui. Ei, cine-i de vină, gușterilor? Nu tot voi, că sunteți așa de păcătoși că nu vi se întâmplă nicio minune? Că uite duamna Găbița, nici ea nu și-a luat salariul anticipat, dar punem pariu că are acum deja casa plină de ouă și frigiderele pline de carne? Cum de unde știu asta? Păi voi ați văzut cum s-a circulat ieri în București?

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