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*Ehe, fraților, nici ciripoii nu mai sunt ce-au fost! Cum dădeau în goarnă pe vremuri, de-și potrivea Securitatea ceasul după ei, iar acum abia de mai însăilează niște note informative, destinate publicului larg… Bunăoară, Sorin Roșca-Stănescu, pușcăriașul devenit, prin voia destinului implacabil, și jurnalist, a ținut să-și dea și el cu presupusa despre situația actuală. Așa că a publicat un fel de delațiune cu pretenții de editorial, unde altundeva decât în știripescurse, pardon, pe surse, la amicul Ioșka Bubble, un alt răspândac de omenie. „Situația e de tip paradoxal, scrie Ciripoi. Iohannis nu avea dreptul în 2016 să emită decretul de numire al lui Augustin Lazăr. Pentru că lipsea calificativul din dosar. Care era absolut obligatoriu. Și, doi, pentru că devenise incompatibil. Prin existența în dosar a deciziei Parchetului Alba de a a-i închide cercetarea penală. Iar acum nu are dreptul să refuze solicitarea lui Tudorel Toader. Pentru că, din nou, devine incompatibil. Singura ieșire din cercul vicios este emiterea decretului.” Bă-băiatule, ești panicat, ce-ai? Tu nu înțelegi odată că ar fi cazul să încetați să mai plimbați din gură în gură minciunile lui Bubărel? A zis-o fosta ministresă a Justiției, cu subiect și predicat: „La momentul formulării propunerii (ca Lazăr să fie numit procuror general – n.n.) acesta acesta îndeplinea toate criteriile formale, respectiv vechime de 10 ani şi calificativul „foarte bine” la ultima evaluare profesională, dar şi absenţa vreunei sancţionări disciplinare în ultimii 3 ani, potrivit legii 303/2004. Aceste criterii formale au fost reverificate de Consiliul Superior al Magistraturii, inainte de acordarea avizului, prin consultarea dosarului profesional al candidatului aflat in gestionarea Consiliului. Avizul CSM cu privire la propunerea de numire a procurorului Augustin Lazar in functia de procuror general Romaniei confirma indeplinirea tuturor criteriilor legale si a celor de procedura. Avizul a fost dat cu unanimitate.” Acum pricepi, nenea SRS? Adică „ievaluarea” despre care bătea câmpii Slugărel, nici nu exista, tati, pe vremea aia, era o cerință care a fost introdusă ulterior, de acest maestru al ievaluărilor, pe care sunt convins că, după ce iese din funcție, o să-l „ievalueze” lumea cu flegme prin supermarketuri. Și dacă până și CSM-ul, unde există atâtea cozi de topor ale mafiei, a dat aviz „în unanimitate”, ce mai e de comentat, nene deontologule? În altă ordine de idei, musiu Serese se întreabă de ce și-a introdus Lazăr la mapă dosarul clasat al președintelui, „care nici măcar nu atesta vreo victorie profesională. Ci, dimpotrivă, arăta că un dosar fusese clasat. Doar că era dosarul președintelui în funcție.” Păi hai să-ți zică tot docomentele de ce, Ciripoaie. Nu ca să se mire proștii, cum ar fi zis Moromete, ci pentru că „În conformitate cu dispozițiile art. 21 ind.1 din Hotărârea nr. 193/2006 a Plenului C.S.M.  pentru numirea în funcția de procuror general al Parchetului de pe lângă Înalta Curte de Casație și Justiție, în vederea emiterii avizului Secției pentru procurori, se depun de către candidat și un număr de 10 lucrări întocmite în funcția de judecător sau procuror.” Acum pricipiși? Deci a făcut omul zece lucrări, le-a depus la portofoliu, e vina lui că printre alea zece s-a aflat și un dosar al președintelui? Oricum, bine că  printre dosare nu s-a aflat și vreunul prin care vreun diliman revendica Luna de pe cer, că era în stare Ciripoi să scrie că reptilienii din Andromeda l-au pus în funcție pe procurorul general!

*Dacă n-ați mai râs de mult la un banc bun, am găsit unul care sigur o să vă facă să vă tăvăliți pe jos: Antena 3 îl va da în judecată pe Adrian Țuțuianu, fiindcă ar fi acuzat postul că ia milioane de coco șpagă de la Daddy Dragnea. Într-un comunicat dat publicității ieri, gurnaliștii de curvăsărie de pe tarlaua lui Felix precizează: „Toate afirmațiile făcute de domnul Adrian Țuțuianu la adresa postului nostru de televiziune, a fondatorului trustului și a celorlalte persoane la care se face referire sunt complet false. Întrucât declarațiile sunt complet denigratoare și nu au niciun fundament real, postul nostru de televiziune a luat decizia de a-l acționa în instanță pe domnul Adrian Țuțuianu și îi vom cere despăgubiri de 2 milioane de euro.” A, dar stați, că asta nu e tot. Bombonica pe colivă abia acum vine, i-auziți: „Totodată, Antena 3 condamnă ferm propagarea unor astfel de informații mincinoase fără o minimă verificare în prealabil a veridicității afirmațiilor făcute de persoana în cauză.” Ați înțeles? Deci Antena 3, cea mai abjectă latrină deghizată în trust de presă, care propagă de ani de zile dezinformări, manipulări flagrante, kekistane și alte căcaturi, fără să verifice absolut niciodată veridicitatea lor, a ajuns să fie deranjată că un baron pesedist „pucist” a spus niște lucruri probabil adevărate, despre cum se prostituează latriniștii pe bani grei. Vai, dar sunt impresionat de drama pe care o trăiesc Gâdea, Ciuvică, Badea și ceilalți mâncători de maro. Sper din toată inima ca onoarea lor nereperată să fie totuși salvată de justiția iohanisto-soroșistă și de banii pe care o să-i obțină de la Țuțuianu în instanță, lingăii să-și facă și ei o curoplastie, ca să pară iar fete mari.

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