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*Știți de ce guriștii de la Antena 3 își permit să facă pipi cu boltă pe adevăr, pe onestitate și pe deontologie? Pentru că pot și pentru că au cu cine. Atunci când nu au cu cine, cum s-a întâmplat de pildă joi seară, când l-au avut invitat în studio pe liberalul Pavel Popescu, li se cam blochează limbuțele alea meseriașe în gură și rămân fără replică. Așa cum au rămas, preț de câteva clipe, când Pavel Popescu le-a zis, în direct și la oră de vârf, ceva de genul „Auziți, bă-băieți, ia mai subțire cu Cioloș, cu securiștii, cu turnătorii, nu uitați că  și șeful vostru, Dan Voiculescu, a fost turnător”. După momentul de stupoare, Ciuvică și-a revenit primul și, dovedind că nu are nici cea mai mică tresărire de conștiință, a replicat: „Trebuie să fii bou să mai crezi că Dan Voiculescu a fost turnător.” Asta după ce în anii 90, adică până să devină lingău principal la latrine, el susținea și trezit din somn, la două noaptea, că banii lui Felix fuseseră ciordiți de la Ceaușescu, iar alt lingău important prezent mai mereu la Antena 3, Savaliuc, pretindea în ziarul „Ziua” chiar că ar fi dat de urma tranzacțiilor dubioase ale Varanului. Nu mă aștept ca acum CNCD să se autosesizeze pentru cuvântul „bou”, fiindcă, se știe, slugoii lui Dragnea de acolo ciulesc urechile numai când zice ceva Iohannis. Dar mă bucur că, într-un fel, Ciuvică s-a autocaracterizat – pentru că, mergând pe logica lui, el a fost bou de bou la faza asta, că a crezut ani de zile în varianta Felix-Turnătorul. Oricum, dacă aș fi în locul lui Voiculescu zău de i-aș mai da buca la pupat lui Ciuvică până ce nu l-aș auzi mărturisind la televizor, ca odinioară Postelnicu, „Am fost un dobitoc!” Ei, și fiindcă veni vorba de liberali, după prestația lui Pavel Popescu, care m-a uns pe suflet, aseară PNL a trimis la Antena 3 o fătucă, Violeta Vijulie pe nume, pe care au făcut-o latriniștii în foi de viță. A zis fata tot ce-au vrut ăia să audă, de ziceai că-i la ședințe de spălat creierul sau la o reuniune a scientologilor de ziua a noua. A zis chiar, la un moment dat, ceea ce susțin toți propagandiștii vânduți pe-o ciorbă lui Dragnea: „Acele protocoale, în primul rând, nici nu trebuiau să existe…” Prilej numai bun pentru cunoscuta deontoloagă Oana Stancu să remarce: „Doamna Vijulie este primul reprezentant al PNL pe care eu îl aud discutând despre și dorindu-și redeschiderea unor astfel de dosare. E primul pe care îl aud. Până acum, lumea a sărit la Tudorel Toader că vrea redeschiderea acestor dosare. Uite că sunt și oameni în PNL…” Carevasăzică, doamna Vijulie e total de acord să nu-și mai bage SRI urechea în afacerile clanurilor mafiote, gen Sadoveanu, Duduianu, pe principiul „protocoalele nu trebuiau să existe.” Și să-i lase, domle, justiția, pe mafioți în pace, de ce-i ascultă SRI? Sunteți sigură, doamna Vijulie, că asta vă doriți? Să scape toți traficanții de droguri și de carne vie, toți mafioții? Ei, atunci aveți grijă cu ce tramvai vă întoarceți acasă… Iar dumnevoastră, domnule Orban, lăsați puțin listele alea pentru europarlamentare și ascultați-mă: nu mai trimiteți la Antena 3 dudui nepregătite și care fac, fie și involuntar, jocul bandiților. Decât s-o fi trimis pe Vijulie, să se facă de râs, mai bine vorbeați cu Vali Vijelie, că era mai cu tupeu, și le-o zicea pe-aia cu „să moară  dujmanii mei, la Antenă-s doar grivei!”

*Ei, ia spuneți sincer: nu vă era dor de nițel Marius Pieleanu? Știu că vă era și de aceea m-am gândit să vă mai zic ce mai face el acolo, pe la televizor. Bine, n-o să vă zic pe față, că mă amendează poliția moravurilor, ci așa, mai pe ocolite: face sondaje cum știți. În cel mai recent sondaj, el a discutat iar despre candidaturile la prezidențiale, dovedind, o dată în plus, că dealerul la nevoie se cunoaște: în opinia sa, Dragnea este pe val! I-auziți ce zice sondorul: „Liviu Dragnea ar putea fi nu numai propunerea PSD, dar și a alianței. Dacă alianța se va hotârî să meargă împreună cu un candidat, atunci sunt șanse mari ca acel candidat, în turul 1, să ocupe primul loc. În turul 2 încep să se schimbe lucrurile fiindcă toate voturile obținute de alți candidați probabil că vor da votul domnului Iohannis. Semnalul de alarmă pe care l-am tras în emisiune referitor la posibilitatea ca domnul Cioloș să vină puternic din urmă și să se ducă în turul 2 începe să scadă ca certitudine fiindcă astăzi Cioloș nu are decât 3% din voința electoratului. Deci cu alte cuvinte, atunci când merge la vot cu partidul, nu obține nici măcar o cifră care să-i permită intrarea în Parlamentul European.” Hai zi să faci plici, Pielene? Unde-ai făcut, nene, sondajul, de ți-a ieșit că doar 3% ar vota cu PLUS, în baie la matale, te-ai întrebat în oglindă? În lift, cu trei vecini pesediști? Sau într-un otokar cu saună de la duamna Firea, având în el zece pensionari și douăj de dinți, să fie cifră rotundă? Și de unde ai scos-o că Dragnea rupe norma la prezidențiale, de vreme ce chiar tu, în sondajele precedente, nu-i dădeai nicio șansă, iar toate celelalte institute sociologice îl dau la maximum 7% intenție de vot? A, sau stai așa, că or fi mai fi intrat niște bănuți pe cardul domnului Pieleanu și se știe, când crește cardul, crește și Dragnea în sondaje!

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