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*Nici nu se stinsese bine blițul aparatului foto care i-a surprins pe Ciordache și Daniel Morar la aceeași măsuță de la bufetul Senatului, că ziariștii de casă ai celor două părți au și început să-i spele pe protagoniști, ca nu cumva să creadă populimea că o unealtă a penalilor poate discuta chestii serioase cu un ditamai judecătorul la CCR. Vedeți, asta-mi place la gudureii din presă: or fi ei cum or fi, dar sunt prompți, domle, acționează mai rapid ca ”Nufărul”. De pildă, Ciordachele a intrat imediat în direct la Antena 3, unde i-a mărturisit Alessandrei Stoicescu că n-a discutat nimic important cu domnul Morar. ”Nu vă mișcați, că pierdem semnalul”, i-a cerut prezentatoarea, iar ciordachele a replicat, scrofulos la datorie: ”Nu mă mișc, sunt pe loc pentru a fi coerent în discuția cu dvs.” Aoleo, mi-am zis, te pomenești că ăsta o fi luat ceva la bord la bufet, iar acuma cum face doi pași, cum se învârte Parlamentul cu el! Nu știu, trebuie făcut ceva, trebuie vorbit cu ospătari de la bufet, să nu-i mai dea, domle, de băut, că devine incoerent și-ați văzut ce jafuri de legi dă! Cât despre discuția propriu-zisă, ia fiți atenți ce-a declarat ciordachele: ”Eram în restaurantul Senatului, și CCR funcționează tot acolo. La plecare m-am oprit, l-am salutat, la nivel de 20 de secunde. Acolo servesc și eu masa, împreună cu colegii mei. Care este problema?”. Deci, după mărturisirea lui, întâlnirea n-a durat mai mult de 20 de secunde. Fiindcă la Antena 3 nu a fost invitat să-și dea cu părerea  – sau o fi fost, dar are și omul mândria lui – Daniel Morar a făcut mărturisiri complete la goarna de serviciu a jupânului Băsescu, pagina de Facebook a Sorinei Matei, pentru care a declarat, în exclusivitate: ”Eram în restaurantul Senatului, la sala publică de mese a Parlamentului, unde mănânc în fiecare zi și unde servesc prânzul atât parlamentarii cât și cei din Curtea Constituțională sau cei care își desfășoară activitatea în interiorul clădirii Parlamentului. Eram cu o colegă la masă și, la un moment dat, a venit și s-a așezat lângă mine deputatul Iordache care mi-a zis că sunt niște amendamente pe statutul magistraților asistenți ai Curții. I-am zis că nu știu despre ce este vorba și că nu sunt implicat în asta. Discuția a durat doar câteva minute iar eu nu pot să refuz un schimb de câteva cuvinte cu oameni care vin și mă abordează.” Opaa, dar ce avem noi aici? O extorsiune a unui degajament cu burlan într-o apă sau o distorsiune temporală ca-n Star Trek? Păi de ce unul zice c-a stat 20 de secunde, iar altul c-au vorbit câteva minute? Alo, duduițelor, Alessandro, Sonerio, dormiți, bre? Ce ziariste sunteți voi dacă n-ați sesizat că unul dintre cei doi minte pe față – și nu-i greu de intuit care? Nu mai zic că limbajul lor denotă clar că oamenii ăștia or fi ei mari juriști (bine, Ciordachele mi se pare mai curând mare tâmplar-matrițer sau ceva de genul ăsta), dar habar nu au de limba română! De câte ori să vă zic, aleșii vieții, că verbul ”a servi” nu are sensul de a lua masa, ci de a întinde masa în fața cuiva, ca niște ospătari. Eu înțeleg că ați rămas cu traume și probabil fiecare serviți pe cineva, dar înțelegeți, bă-băieți, Daniele și Florinele, că voi ați fost pus în funcții nu ca să serviți unor penali, nici să serviți la masă, ci să serviți masele, adică pe noi, ăștia care vă plătim salariile babane!

*În presa de la noi, ca și în natură, nimic nu se pierde, totul se transformă. Și dacă de exemplu în natură un rahat lăsat în ploaie devine, în timp, îngrășământ, în presă un gurnalist ca Alex Cumpănașu poate pleca de la Realitatea ca să se transfere la Antena 3, așa cum, pe vremuri, și Ciutacu a plecat de la Antena 3 ca să meargă la România TV. Îi urăm proaspătului antenist mult succes și putere de limbă… pardon, da muncă, dar îl și sfătuim să nu facă prea mare caz de faptul că știe mulți milițieni din MAI-ul duduii Carmencita Dan, fiindcă Mircea Badea nu suportă milițienii și cine știe ce s-ar putea să iasă. Oricum, chiar și cu această venire, Antena 3 tot nu poate acoperi pierderea inegalabilei Dana Grecu. Măi, dar chiar nu se mai nasc bărbați în presa română, să-l poată înlocui pe Dana?

*Poate că v-ați întrebat ce mai face domnul Marius Pieleanu, pentru că nu s-a mai auzit nimic de el în ultima vreme. Ce să facă, săracul, își pierde vremea prin traficul doamnei Firea și de-aia nici nu mai reușește să ajungă la televizor, după cum singur mărturisește: ”În mod mod evident, stând o oră, într-o interminabilă coadă, există riscul real de a-ţi pierde discernământul conjunctural. Cum mi s-a întâmplat mie cu un tovarăş din faţa mea, care mi-a tăiat calea. I-am făcut un semn adecvat şi mi-a spus că dă cu maşina peste mine. Reacţia mea nu a fost să mă duc repede la secţia de Poliţie să-l reclam, deşi am reţinut numărul. În mod evident, omul, ca şi mine, îşi pierduse discernământul social, stând o oră pe loc”, a precizat sociologul. Păi așa, mă, Marusică, să faci semne adecvate? Unde te credeai, în studiourile de la România TV, să mxxești soroșiști? Ori suntem civilizați, ori nu mai suntem, zău așa! Și stai liniștit, că nu dau oamenii nici cu mașina, nici cu metroul și nici cu tramvaiul peste tine, fiindcă, la cât discernământ social ai, să faci temenele la toți borfașii, nu dă nimeni nici măcar un scuipat pe tine!

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