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Știți care-i diferența dintre falsul medic italian și un pesedist adevărat? Primul are „talent nativ” la operat, al doilea are tot talent nativ, dar la furat. E născut să fure, altceva nu știe să facă și, dac-ar încerca, i-ar ieși prost. Când am auzit-o ieri pe o colegă de-a fostului cărător de bagaje devenit expert în montat silicoane all-season în România, susținând că omul era un talent nativ, am zis că m-a lăsat auzul. Dar astăzi, însăși ministresa Sănătății, doamna Sorina Pintea, a repetat același lucru: „Poate că e un talent nativ.” Și, ca să fie clar că e cu totul pe dinafară, în realitatea paralelă imaginată de șăfu Dragnea, ministresa a adăugat: „Vreau mai întâi să văd documentele, să văd dacă efectiv a intrat în sala de operație, dar există mărturii că a făcut-o.” Cu alte cuvinte, există zeci de martori care au văzut ce făcea escrocul ăsta, există paciente operate de el, dar pentru doamna Pintea tot nu-i de ajuns. Stați să ne asigurăm că el e omul, să nu-l băgăm nevinovat la pușcărie, păi ori suntem pesediști de omeneală, ori nu mai suntem? Așa, doamnă, luați-o încetișor. Cereți acte, faceți analize, eventual înființați și o comisie de anchetă la guvern, ca să fim siguri că se tergiversează cazul suficient de mult cât să-și termine mascalzonele, în timpul ăsta, și facultatea de medicină, și rezidențiatul și ajunge chirurg cu acte!

În loc să recunoască sincer că asemenea cazuri reprezintă încununarea politicii de pile, cunoștințe și relații, de șpăgi nesimțite și de angajări pe criterii de famiglie, promovată de ani de zile în România și dusă pe culmile perfecțiunii de guvernele pesediste, în ultimii doi ani, doamna Pintea o dă în abstracții, zicând că „instituțiile statului sunt de vină”. Care instituții, doamnă? Că doar n-o fi de vină și portarul de la Direcția de Sănătate Publică pentru faptul că o funcționară de acolo i-a dat macaronarului aviz de liberă practică „de milă, zice ea”. Mă așteptam să ne anunțați azi că ați făcut deja o anchetă la sânge și că toți vinovații au fost deja excluși din sistem. Sau cumva firele șpăgilor urcă până foarte sus, în minister, și vă e teamă că, transformată în Acar Păun, funcționara „milostivă” o să înceapă să dea din casă, de-ajung toți directorii și directorașii să dea cu subsemnatul pe la procuratură?

De fapt, cred că știu de ce pesediștii au fost prinși cu chiloții în vine la faza cu falsul chirurg italian: pentru că nu se așteptau să fie unul mai escroc ca ei. Adică să vină unul care nici măcar nu e român mândru ca ei, unul cu opt clase, să le dea lecții lor, care au bacul luat la 40 de ani și stive de diplome de la facultăți private pe birou? Chiar așa rău au ajuns escrocii de Partid din România, să vină un broscar și să le dea lecții de șarlatanie? La ei, care de ani de zile „operează” la buzunare națiunea română, deși nu au patalama oficială, să vină un venetic și să-i facă de râs? Și-n locul vostru, stimați tovarăși pesediști, aș fi mai atent când vorbesc despre „talentul nativ”. Știu, voi vreți să dovediți unei lumi întregi că nu-ți trebuie specializare ca să lucrezi într-un anumit domeniu. Nu trebuie să fii inginer ca să faci poduri, profesor ca să înveți copiii, medic ca să operezi sau lingvist ca să te faci de rahat ca prim-ministru. Voi vreți să dovediți că sunteți pricepuți la toate – și la economie, și la transporturi, și la ROBOR, și la telecomunicații, și la agricultură, porumb și cormorani – deși, practic, nu aveți nicio calificare. Sunteți toți „talente native”. Dar ce vă faceți, atotpricepuților dacă, exasperați de halul în care voi aduceți țara, românii își vor descoperi într-o zi talentul nativ de boxeri, ca ăla care l-a făcut mochetă pe Mircea Badea?

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