Nicuşor, rămâi fără cuibuşor?

10:27 am, 6 noiembrie 2011 • de 264 Comentarii

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Cuprinşi de spaimă că judeţele pe care le-au stăpânit ani de zile, ca pe nişte feude personale, o să le scape printre degete, ca să se integreze într-o Românie regionalizată, într-o Europă modernizată şi în Absolut, baronii locali recurg la gesturi disperate. Nicuşor Constantinescu, monarhul neîncoronat de la Marea cea Mare şi Amară, a reuşit, încă din iunie, să-i facă pe consilierii PSD şi PNL să înţeleagă că, dacă dispare judeţul Constanţa, dispare şi chenzina lor, dispar şpaga, influenţa şi, evident, aroganţa. Şi, spre a dovedi că poporul e cu el, Constantinescu a convocat un referendum, să testeze piaţa: mai vor constănţenii să aibă judeţ sau le place mai mult cum sună regiunea Dobrogea?

Acest vechil pe plantaţia cu tonete de lângă lacul Tăbăcăriei se bate cu cărămida în piept că şturlubatica lui idee are putere de lege şi e mai tare decât orice hotărâre de guvern. Ca un fel de aviz amatorilor, el afirmă că, dacă supuşii săi vor vota pentru menţinerea judeţului, va merge şi la Haga şi la Strasbourg pentru a-şi căuta dreptatea, în caz că tirania o să-i bage beţe-n roate. Măsura lui Nicuşor, izvorâtă nu din grija pentru şerbii din dotare, ci din spaima că o să adoarmă iarăşi, beat, dar şi flămând de astă-dată, în vreo intersecţie, constituie un precedent periculos. Cum ar fi ca fiecare primar de comună să încingă şi el vreun referendum, cerând, de pildă, alipirea localităţii la Republica Populară Chineză sau adoptarea imnului maghiar ca imn naţional, pe teritoriul comunei?

Dar, pe de altă parte, acest referendum ar putea fi o sabie cu două tăişuri pentru dl Nicuşor. Ca să fie validat, plebiscitul trebuie să adune la urne mai mult de jumătate din populaţia judeţului şi, din această masă, jumătate plus unu trebuie să voteze împotriva desfiinţării judeţului. Dată fiind vremea de afară, e greu de crezut că prea mulţi oameni vor lăsa căldurica căminului pentru a-i mai da un vot de încredere primului mafiot al judeţului. Evident, aici vor intra în joc şi taxiurile electorale, care vor face serviciu de curierat, din poartă în poartă, spre a-i duce pe ţugurlani cu ciurda la vot, va intra în joc şi ţuica fiartă, pentru încălzirea inimii electoratului, şi alte asemenea mici atenţii, cu care dl Nicuşor e obişnuit, că ele l-au făcut mare. Aşa că baronul tomitan merge la risc, fiindcă n-are în mânecă decât juveţi, dame ambetate şi o mână de popi, dar niciun as.

Dacă o să câştige, e puţin probabil că România va fi compusă din opt regiuni şi un judeţ, că aşa vrea slănina lui dom’ Nicuşor. Dacă o să piardă, o să primească un semnal clar, din partea celor care vor sfida acest referendum: e vremea să vă căraţi, baronilor! Stai liniştit însă, Nicuşoare, că, dacă rămâi fără coledzi, te ajută colegul Mazăre, îţi face el unul. Acum, nu te aştepta să te numească stăpân peste vreo insulă exotică, unde pleacă el să facă sărituri cu coarda şi paraşutele. Dar măcar o vorbă bună la vecina Ucraina ar putea să-ţi pună, ca să primeşti şi tu o parcelă, pentru o vilişoară de vacanţă măcar, pe insula Şerpilor. În mod garantat o să te simţi acolo ca între ai tăi!

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