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*În timp ce televiziunile de știri care încă mai difuzează știri și nu fac procese-spectacol transmiteau în direct comemorarea de la Clubul Colectiv, latrinele lui Voiculescu, respectiv Vîntu, își vedeau de progamul lor zilnic de aruncat rahat în ventilator și de umplut cu zoaie pe oricine li se pare „contra”. De pildă, la România TV a fost aseară o emisiune dedicată „puciștilor” din PSD, care au fost fotografiați pe șestache și dați la televizor, să-i știe toți șoșonarii telespectatori și să-i scuipe, eventual cu tot cu proteză, atunci când i-or vedea pe stradă. Nu știu dacă fotografiile au fost furnizate de serviciul secret de urechiști și răspândaci despre care zicea Firea că ar fi pus de Dragnea s-o spioneze și pe ea, ori au fost niște papparazzi de la Guiță TV, însă pozele au ieșit destul de mișcate. Ori sunt niște ageamii ăia de le-au făcut, ori sunt și ei puciști sub acoperire. În orice caz, titlul a fost pus în așa fel încât să stârnească indignarea totală a lobotomizaților: „Cum au petrecut la întâlnirea de taină?” – de unde rezultă că „scârbilii” nu doar că au complotat, ci au mai și petrecut, nenorociții!

*La Antena 3 nu s-a ocupat nimeni de puciști, în schimb a fost program special de bocit primarul Mircea Gutău, cel care a stat doi la pârnaie și a fost achitat pentru luare de mită. Au plâns vuvuzelele de mila lui Gutău cu șapte rânduri de lacrimi și apoi au acuzat justiția koveșisto-iohannistă că l-a condamnat. Alo, Gâdeo, ia șterge-te, amice, nițel de maro pe la gură, că dai prost la cameră, și cască ochelarii încoace: cine zici tu că l-a condamnat? Justiția koveșisto-iohannistă? Nu, băi, gigi, nu ea l-a condamnat. Chiar Antena 3 l-a judecat, l-a găsit vinovat și l-a condamnat, cu mulți ani în urmă – cum o face de altfel mereu când i se pune pata pe careva. Dacă nu crezi, păpușel, mai uită-te în arhiva latrinei, că mi-am luat și eu o pereche de cizme, mi-am pus MCG-ul pe nas, să nu mă sufoc de la miasme, și am coborât acolo. Și ghici ce? Am găsit o mulțime de titluri în care Gutău nu era nici pe departe considerat nevinovat, ci dimpotrivă, era prezentat ca un pedelist de-ai lui Băsescu, care a băgat mâna la cașcaval, dar a fost prins de justiția independentă, care l-a sfidat pe dictachior! I-auzi titlu ce dădeați pe atunci, Gâdeo: „Condamnat de instanţă, dar ţinut în braţe de PDL: Mircia Gutău rămâne în partid!” Carevasăzică, Gutău pe care azi îl ridicați în slăvi e unul și același Gutău pe care îl proteja Băsescu Traian și care era pe atunci, în opinia voastră, vinovat clar, de vreme ce fusese condamnat de instanță? Vai, dar nu-mi vine să cred că v-ați sucit în halul ăsta, domnu jurnalist Gâdea! Sunt de-a dreptul indignat! Noroc că mă pufnește râsul când îmi imaginez cum oți fi reacționat când ați primit voi ordin să-l spălați aseară pe mititel: „Știți, Dom Profesor Voiculescu, Gutău e ăla pe care noi l-am scuipat luni întregi pe vremuri, că era băsist!” „Da, Gâdeo, și ce-i cu asta? – îmi închipui că o fi răspuns Voiculescu. Ieri l-ați scuipat, azi îl lingeți de scuipat. Curat ca lacrima să mi-l faceți, lingăilor, pentru ce dracu vă plătesc?!”

*La Evenimentul zilei am descoperit o fătucă, Anca Andrei pre numele ei, care cred că și-a ratat cariera de romancieră. Stă ca fraiera la fițuica de șters geamuri a lui Andronic&Curea, în loc să se apuce serios de beletristică. Fiindcă are toate atuurile necesare: talentată e, frumușică e, iar o imaginație așa bogată n-au avut nici Beatleșii când erau pe pastile, în hogeac la Maharishi, și ciocăneau timizi la poarta Nirvanei. Vreți mostră de imaginație? N-aveți decât să citiți „editorialul” fătucii, intitulat „Planul conceput la Cotroceni. Pe cine vrea de fapt Klaus Iohannis „premierul meu”. Ei, ce v-am zis? Este că, din titlu, deja pare mai incitant ca „Zece negri mititei”? Dar stați să vedeți ce e e înăuntru! Meseriașa începe brusc și tăios, ca într-un roman postmodernist, fără să mai facă prezentarea personajelor: „Guvernul Cioloș a fost primul „guvern al meu” pentru președintele Klaus Iohannis. Teoretic Iohannis era cel care controla executivul. Practic, șeful statului nu era interesat de acest lucru și s-a preocupat încă de la bun început mai mult de bunăstarea personală.” Ancuțo, ca să folosesc aceeași construcție, tu teoretic ești jurnalistă, dar practic scrii după ureche, ca coafezele (ți-a plăcut cacofonia?) Pentru că, dacă ai fi făcut și tu nițică documentare, ai fi văzut că atât teoretic, cât și practic, cel care controla executivul încă de atunci era Dragnea. Da, da, Dragnea, cu Pesedeu cu tot, care asigura, de altfel, și susținerea guvernului în Parlament, de nu putea Cioloș să facă niciun pas, că-l strângea Flaușatul la ușă cu moțiunea de cenzură, pricepi? Dar, să trecem mai departe, că începe acțiunea și e palpitantă: „Conform unor surse din anturajul președintelui României, acesta și l-ar dori ca viitor premier, culmea, chiar pe liderul ALDE. Tăriceanu ar trebui să primească mult râvnita funcție cu puțin timp înainte de alegerile prezidențiale, tocmai pentru a nu intra în competiția prezidențială. Până atunci, ar trebui doar să se testeze terenul și să se poarte negocieri, care să zdruncine coaliția PSD – ALDE, până la ruperea ei definitivă.” Formidabil! Cum de ți-a venit ideea asta creață, talentato? E uimitor, ce întorsătură a firului epic: Iohannis și Tăriceanu, aflați la cuțite, se vor împăca, să fie președinte și premier. Frate, nici în „Pe aripile vântului” n-a mai văzut așa dragoste cu năbădăi! Dar stați, că e abia începutul, să citim mai departe: „Dacian Cioloș nu i-ar pune niciun fel de problemă lui Iohannis, dar, pentru a evita potențiale probleme, se pare că acestuia i s-ar fi promis poziția de premier în „Guvernul meu 2”, după ce Iohannis câștigă cel de-al doilea mandat, urmând să-l destituie pe Tăriceanu din cauza unor probleme…. probabil în Justiție. Deja ne-am obișnuit cu dosarele scoase din joben în momentele cheie.” Păi stai așa, fătuco, că nu mai pricep: dacă tot câștigă al doilea mandat, de ce i-ar mai promite lui Cioloș „după”, poziția de premier? N-ar trebui să i-o promită și lui odată cu Tăriceanu, să-i trimită după fentă pe amândoi simultan? Vezi, Ancuța, tu ești talentată, dar trebuie să mai lucrezi la logică, fată, că altfel se duce dracului firul epic și deznodământul. Nu mai zic că finalul tău nu mai e de Sadoveanu, e de Hurmuz, ia fiți atenți: „Ceea ce nu a luat Klaus Iohannis în calcul este faptul că, așa cum numele lui a ieșit din pălărie, cu foarte puțin timp înainte de alegeri, așa ar putea face acum, cei din tabăra opusă, care au testat deja câteva nume cu greutate. Anul 2019 se anunță unul plin de surprize, iar Mihai Răzvan Ungureanu ar putea fi una dintre ele.” Ce spui, pisi? Că tabăra opusă lui Iohannis o să-l promoveze pe Ungureanu? Bine, dar până acum tabăra opusă lui Iohannis pe Ungureanu nu l-a scos din „ăla cu vita Kobe” „securistul” „sluga lui Băsescu”, acum îl pun catindat în locul lui Dragnea? Asta chiar n-o mai cred nici curcile, fată, zău! Așa că, dacă vrei să te mai citească cineva, măcar ca să se amuze, scrie, naibii, pe articolele tale „Editorial SF”, să știm o treabă. Și să vezi atunci ce se oftică Mironov, că el, sefist cu state vechi, n-are imaginația ta!

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