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*Cum beleaua se ține cu rândul, să știți că nu doar la Antena 3 și România TV sunt invitați siniștrii lui Tudose, să le bage în cap seară de seară cretineților care i-au votat că trăiesc bine, când ăștia trăiesc din ce în ce mai prost, ci și la TVR. De pildă aseară a venit rândul Mulguței Vasilescu să fie coafată în direct la televiziunea națională de băiatul cu sarmalele, Ionuț Cristache. Garsonul a dovedit o limbă mai interesantă decât toți ciuvicii la un loc, iar Volguța a fost atât de satisfăcută oral – în sensul că i-a plăcut ce-a vorbit ăla, nu vă gândiți la prostii! – încât sigur o să mai vină la TVR. Mai întâi, ministresa (ne)Muncii a explicat cât de minunat o să fie de la 1 ianuarie, cum o s-o ducă românii de grozav și a avertizat că, dacă o să iasă ceva prost, nu Tudose și nici Dragnea, ci patronii, chiaburii și culacii vor fi de vină, ‘r-ar ei ai dreaq de dujmani ai boborului. Pe urmă, fiindcă lingăul prezentator nu prestase suficient și trebuia să dea o copită și-n DNA, s-a adus vorba și despre asta și Lărguța a povestit cât a pătimit ea, sărăcuța, din cauza procurilor foști băsiști, actualmente iohaniști. ”Eu și foarte mulți prieteni de ai mei am fost luați de pe stradă, puse cătușele, duși într-un hotel și anchetați și torturați și fizic și psihic”, a precizat fosta peremistă, care s-a plâns că astfel DNA ar fi încercat să o împiedice a mai candida la foncția de primar al Craiovei. Aoleo, asta e foarte grav, duduia Olguța, dar cred că exagerezi nițel: cum să te ia DNA-ul de pe stradă? Păi matale ești de-alde d-ăștia, de ies în stradă, cu haștag rezist? Nu se poate, zău! Bag mâna-n foc că nu te-au luat de pe stradă, ci te-au luat de pe trotuar, te-au dus la hotel și… ia stai așa… ăia de ți-au pus cătușe în hotel sigur erau procurori?

*Am văzut pe Click un titlu care mi-a oferit prilejul unui deja-vu: „Revoltător! Ţara moare de foame şi dictatorul uite unde huzureşte”. Doar la Revoluție mai citisem ceva asemănător și m-am bucurat că, uite, domle, până și tabloidele au început să scrie nasoale de Dragnea. Dar, ce să vezi? ”Țara” de care se vorbea în titlu, nu era România, cum se subînțelegea, ci… Zimbabwe. Iar dictatorul nu era negru doar în cerul gurii și pe dinți, ca teleormăneanul, era negru peste tot și-l chema Mugabe! Gurnaliștii au prezentat ca pe ceva scandalos faptul că fostul pretenar al lui Ceaușescu avea un palat care a costat zece milioane de dolari! Bine, mă, d-ăștia îmi sunteți? Adică n-avem și noi dictatorii noștri, voi băgați din import? Nu mai bine, în loc să căscați gura la toți cioripanezii, investigați puțin și averea lui Dragnea? Că zece milioane cred că l-a costat numai gardul de la viloiul din Alexandria sau leafa grădinarului care-i tunde iarba la Fortalezza. Nu mai zic că acum uite, i-au pus sechestru pe toată averea, nu mai ia un sfanț de nicăieri, ați fi putut titra și voi: ”Dragi alegători pesediști, bucurați-vă: de azi înainte Liviu Dragnea o să câștige cât o să câștigați și voi de la 1 ianuarie!”

*După Dana Grecu, un alt motanian de marcă pare a fi pe făraș la Antena 3: Bogdan Chirieac. Ca și Dana, Bogdănel a reușit să-l enerveze pe macacul favorit al lui Voiculescu, Mirci Badea, care era să facă apoplexie – vorba vine, ca să faci apoplexie trebuie să ai creier, dar, mă rog, ați prins ideea – auzindu-l că vrea să iasă în stradă: ”Bogdan Chirieac s-a enervat și a spus: ‘ies în stradă la protestele #rezist’. Auuu!!! Cum? Cum? Vă dați seama că am fost șocat și încă sunt. Bogdan Chirieac spune că aceste prevederi legislative sunt o aberație. Eu consider că este foarte bine. 850 de euro amendă este mică. Aș vrea 3.000 de euro amendă”, a precizat Badea. Tovarășu Chirieac, nu fi supărat dacă te dau ăștia afară, după cât ai limbuit Partidul, că de foame nu mori. Uite, Dănuța Grecu s-a reorientat rapid, are emisiune cu paranormali, poate găsești și matale să faci emisiune cu anormali. Și dacă nu găsești, nu-i nimic, te duci să te angajezi la circul Globus. Oricum au pe acolo doar morse incompetente, care nici dacă le flutură dresorul heringul pe la bot nu-s în stare să aplaude din labe, pe când matale ești morsă competentă, bați instant din labe și dacă ți se arată doar carasu’!

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