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*După succesul total al partidei de vânătoare de coțohârle, mistreți și alte soiuri de puciști, care a avut loc ieri în PSD, la televiziunea de Partid și de Stat, recte TVR1, Ionuț Cristache a lansat o dezbatere pe tema remanierii. Printre invitați s-au numărat un nene de la România liberă (nici nu mai contează cum îl cheamă, că doar cine mai citește ziarul ăsta?), Mircea Dinescu și Cornel Nistorescu. În mod normal, cu asemenea invitați, unul ca Sărmăluță n-ar fi trebuit să aibă probleme, căci doar îi știm pe toți – uniți în muget și-n simțiri cu ăia care cotizează. Ei, dar ce să vezi? Odată mi ți-i ia Nistorescu la trei păzește pe reșapații din guvernul Docilei, și mi ți-i smotocește ca-n Creangă, făcându-i cu ou și cu oțet. După câteva momente de stupoare, Cristache și-a revenit și și-a adus – și ne-a adus – aminte pentru ce lucrează el la TVR: să susțină guvernul lui Dragnea, indiferent că-i compus din homo sapienși, pitecantropi sau australopiteci. Și dă-i, și luptă, neicusorule, ca la pasopt, am râs de m-am prăpădit de dialogurile de-a dreptul caragialești dintre cei doi. Zicea Nistorescu: „Ăștia-s mai proști ca ăilalții, de până acum!” Intervenea Cristache: „Hai, domle, că nu-s chiar proști!” ”Nuuuu, vă zic eu, sunt proști rău!” Și Cristache mai dădea de la el, mai rezista: „Or fi, dar alții de unde să ia? Pe ăștia-i au, și ei!” Tovii din PSD, vă rog mult, să-l facă cineva atent pe vechilul Dragnea că la TVR1 e un băiat care i se uită-n gură cu mai mult patos și decât i se uită aia mică – Irinuca, la ea mă refeream. Hai, domnu Dragnea, păi se poate? Pentru băiatul ăsta nu găsești un post, ceva, în guvern? Cum unde? La Interne, normal, ia întreabă-l pe Voiculescu cât e de priceput Sărmăluță la treburile dinlăuntru!

*Din dorința de a aduna cât mai multe accesări pentru însăilările din condei numite pompos „articole”, unii gurnaliști recurg la metoda comparațiilor. Toate rapandulele de prin șoubiz nu mai sunt, astfel, niște sărăcii scoase din foame de singurul organ care, deși nu știe carte, reprezintă cea mai eficientă adaptare a lor la mediu, ci devin „Mata Hari de România”, „Beyonce din Berceni”, „Lady Gaga din Focșani” și tot așa. Guțanii lui Bubble de la stiripesurse.ro par, la rându-le, atrași de metodă, doar că ei, scriind despre politică, o folosesc pe oamenii politici. Și, cum pe malurile Dâmboviței nu cresc nici churchilii, nici thatcherele, cum crește păpădia, se adaptează și ei și dau exemple pe cine pot. De pildă, după ședința cu balamuc a PSD de ieri,  ei au titrat: „El e ‘noul Codrin Ștefănescu’ din PSD: A fost promovat, după ce a pus umărul la debarcarea Gabrielei Firea”. De fapt, scribălăii voiau să spună că Daniel Florea, primarul de la cel mai sector sărac care este și anume 5, a fost numit în funcția deținută până acum de Codrin Ștefănescu. Dar au preferat să se exprime astfel, în loc să scrie „Daniel Florea a fost numit secretar adjunct al PSD” – cum ar fi scris orice jurnalist care a trecut prin facultatea de profil și n-a făcut studii la șuruburi și piulițe. Alo, bă-băieți, mai încet cu comparațiile, că nu cadrează. Nu de alta, dar riscați să se supere dom primar Florea pe voi și nu vă mai dă pișcoturi pe la conferințele de presă. Că vorba aia, o fi el cum o fi, o fi vertical, chiar erect când i-o cere Partidul, dar chiar așa decalotat ca Codrin sigur nu e!

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