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*Intuind în scandalul provocat de Ilie Năstase, marele tenismen din care au rămas azi doar ismenele, o posibilă sursă de audiență, că li s-or fi săturat și lor trepanații de telespectatori să vadă mereu aceleași mutre (Dragnea, Codrin, Olguța, Firuța etc) pe ecran, televiziunile de știri au dedicat spații ample acestui scandal. La România TV, un băețaș care realizează emisiunea „Cancan TV”, Marius Niță pre numele lui, a început să discute despre caz, moment în care a intrat în direct însuși împrincinatul Nasty. Intuind rost de chiloțăreală, gurnalistul specialist în cancanuri, desuuri și colonoscopii de vedete, s-a interesat de ce Năstase s-a dat senator, de vreme ce el nu mai e senator și de unde până unde polițiștii nu au voie să aresteze senatori. La faza asta, tenismenul s-a făcut că n-aude, în schimb a luat foc când gurnalistul i-a dat la operație, ținând să afle cine era domnișoara distinsă din dreapta lui, care ținea, probabil, de schimbător – că avea mai multă experiență, iar Iliuță era beat cui. „E mă-ta!” a răspuns Năstase, după care a închis, dar a reintrat în direct, pentru că mai avea niște lături de aruncat la el și era păcat să le țină în gușă: din „Băi, prostule” și ”Băi, fraiere”, nu l-a scos pe bietul cancanist. Hai, ho, băi, Ilie, ajunge! Mai fă și tu economie la jigniri, că mâine-poimâine ți se întoarce Brijita acasă și pe-aia de ce-o mai înjuri, dacă toate organele ți le-ai băgat în polițiști și gurnaliști?

*Și cei de la Antena 3 au dedicat o bună parte a emisiunii „Sinteza zilei” conflictului Năstase-polițiști. Am observat, încă de la început, o mare stinghereală pe buzele lui Gâdea, în sensul că homunculul l-ar fi pupat în cur pe tenismen cu mare poftă, dar în același timp nici nu putea zice nasoale de polițiști, că se supăra doamna cu microfonul la priză, care sigur s-ar fi plâns lui Daddy și uite-așa se-alegea bietul Miăiță cu un post negru la mâncat rahat de i se ofileau obrăjiorii ăia roșii. Așa că, bun cunoscător al realităților galinacee, că doar maistrul Cristoiu era și el prezent în platou, Gâdea a făcut ce-ar fi făcut orice găină respectabilă în locul lui: nici n-a stat, nici n-a fugit, ci s-a împiedicat. Limbile la adresa lui Năstase n-au lipsit, mai ales că mârlanul a intrat în direct și a povestit și varianta lui de poveste, dar pe de altă parte, la final, Gâdea n-a uitat să precizeze că în fața legii toți trebuie să fim egali. Faptul că Antena 3 tocmai difuzase imaginile, unde se vedea clar cum Năstase îi umple pe polițiști de înjurături, nu a contat pentru gurnaliștii lui Felix, care n-au îndrăznit să-l contrazică pe Ilie în direct, să nu și-o fure și ei, ca băețașul de la România TV, deși imaginile înseși îl contraziceau. Nu m-ar fi mirat nici dacă Gâdea ar fi încercat să ne explice, cu moaca aia a lui de sugaci precoce, că de fapt Năstase nici nu i-a înjurat pe polițiști, ci doar a făcut referiri savante la tenis, dar n-am auzit noi bine: de pildă că n-a zis „Gura mă-tii de milițian”, ci ”Zgura mă-tii”, făcând, probabil, aluzie la faptul că zgura pe care distinsa mamă de polițist jucase în tinerețe nu era chiar ca la Rolland Garros. Lătrăii n-au îndrăznit să-l întrebe pe Năstase cu ce drept și-a arogat calitatea de senator, de vreme ce el nu mai e senator de ani buni – nu de alta, dar cunoșteau și ei că omul intrase în politică în Partidul Conservator, al lui papa Voiculescu, și poți pentru ca să știi că Dom Profesor nu e încă prieten la cataramă cu Iliuță? Și nici când Năstase a început să se laude că el conducea scuterul cu carnetul auto luat la Monaco, de asemenea n-au zis nimic, deși sigur știau că suspendarea permisului românesc de conducere nu-ți dă dreptul să mai circuli prin România cu un permis străin, fie el și de Monaco. Oricum, chestia asta cu permisul merită încercată, așa că vă rog să mă scuzați, plec până-n Burundi să-mi iau un permis auto pe toate categoriile și dacă mâine-poimâine îmi iau polițaii permisul românesc, împrumut un elefant de la circul Stromboli și mă dau cu el prin București, să văd atunci: cum o să mă dea polițiștii jos de la volan?

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