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*Ce faci după ce trei zile bei și mănânci bine la Neptun și la Sinaia, ca orice român mândru și patriot, care a petrecut toată vara prin vacanțe exotice? Păi ce să faci? Cauți o toaletă, normal, că are și mațul ăla gros drepturile lui, nu? În privința toaletei, Liviu Dragnea a fost norocos și a găsit repede una: Antena 3, unde a fost invitat de băiatul care tăia bilete și hârtie igienică la intrare, Radu Tudor. Într-o emisiune de o grețoșenie rar întâlnită, căprarul antenist i-a ridicat mingi la fileu și tenismenul Dragnea a dat cu ași din toate pozițiile. Mai întâi, a afirmat că atunci când a intrat în politică era deja un om bogat, deci nu se pune problema că ar fi furat după ce a devenit politician. Ceea ce nu spune Dragnea e că în 1990, când el a început să facă afaceri în Teleorman, Teleormanul era încă un județ bogat și că abia după ce a început Dragnea să devină milionar în euro, județul a devenit, a naibii coincidență, cel mai sărac din România. Pe urmă, a afirmat că îi pare rău că se cheltuiesc atâția bani publici pentru anchete. Sunt convins că și șuții din troleul 85, precum și hoții care te lasă cu pereții casei goi sau îți pun mașina pe butuci ca să-i ciordească anvelopele sunt măcinați de aceleași păreri de rău: de ce se dau atâția bani pentru anchete? Ca să nu mai vorbesc de faptul că Dragnea, primarii și miniștrii lui sunt direct loviți de cheltuielile astea: dacă anchetele mănâncă milioane de lei din buget, ei nu rămân fără bani de furat? Pe urmă, prinzând curaj, mustăciosul a început să scrie pe tablă, că a văzut că așa fac „specialiștii”. Și, vrând să dea exemple de cum o să evolueze salariile, a scris ”10.000 de lei”, spre stupefacția lui Răducu, care a exclamat: ”Un salariu mare”. Rânjind printre dinții rari, Dragnea i-a replicat: ”În câțiva ani, ăsta n-o să mai fie salariu mare în România! Țineți minte ce vă spun!” Așa e, praleo! În ritmul în care conduceți voi România spre prăpastie, când o să ajungă euroiul la o sută de lei, din 10.000 de lei o să ajungi să-ți mai cumperi doar o rolă de hârtie igienică, să nu te ștergi direct cu bancnotele, că au cerneluri toxice. Nu mai vorbesc de faptul că, în câțiva ani, dacă vă mai bateți joc mult de poporul ăsta, Dragneo, tu și cu lingăii tăi, direct la Târgoviște o să ajungeți. Țineți minte ce vă spun!

*Aseară, în timp ce în Piața Victoriei mii de oameni scandau iar împotriva politrucilor din guvern și a matracucilor din PSD, principalele televiziuni de știri aveau alte preocupări decât să ofere știri despre acest eveniment. La Realitatea TV, de pildă, erau emisiuni dedicate Campionatului Mondial de Judo, care va începe azi la Budapesta. Transformat în corespondent ad-hoc, Cozmin Gușă, care este președinte al Federației Române de Judo, ne-a informat cât e de minunat sportul ăsta, câți tineri din România îl practică și ne-a spus că însuși Vladimir Putin o să vină la Budapesta, să le arate ălora cum se luptă. Alo, domnu Gușă, astea sunt prioritățile la o televiziune de știri? Mai dă-l încolo de judo și revino în realitate, că până să dea România vreun judoka de top, Tudose devine campion mondial la sticlism viteză, iar Dragnea și Tăriceanu iau aurul – nu la Olimpiadă, ci din România – și fug cu el!

*Nici Antena 3 n-a făcut excepție și în prime-time, în loc să sufle măcar o vorbuliță despre proteste, a dedicat seara fenomenelor bizare petrecute într-un sat de lângă București, unde se sparg geamuri, se trântesc uși, polițiștii din comună sunt atacați cu pietre, zboară obiecte pe acoperiș, într-un cuvânt se petrec tot felul de lucruri paranormale. Invitații lui Adrian Ursu și-au dat în toate felurile cu presupusa, deși niciunul n-avea habar cu ce se mănâncă un poltergeist. Am auzit niște teorii de stătea mâța-n coadă: ba că puștiul care ar fi declanșat fenomenele ar fi posedat de demoni și trebuie dus la mănăstire, ba că e cu capul și trebuie internat la nebuni. Băi, păreriștilor, dar vi se terminaseră țucalele de rahat pe care le-aruncați seară de seară în capul lui Iohannis, Codruța și Lazăr? Nu mai aveați pe nimeni de înjurat duminică seara? După ce că ați distrus orice noțiune de presă, devenind niște hoitari și niște spălători de cadavre, acum vreți să distrugeți și parapsihologia? Papagalilor, vă spune unul care știe despre poltergeist mai multe decât știți voi despre Băsescu: copilul ăla nu e nici nebun de legat, nici posedat. E doar nevorbit, luzărilor, ați auzit? Ne-vor-bit! În sensul că nu-și poate exprima coerent frustările și nemulțumirile, ca majoritatea copiilor care suferă transformările pubertății, și le strânge în el, acumulând o energie fanstastică, iar asta produce manifestările alea ciudate. Ia duceți-l la un psiholog bun, vreo câteva săptămâni, și-o să vedeți că nu se mai sparg geamuri din senin și nu mai dă nimeni cu pietre în organe. Bine, s-ar putea să vă ia lumea la pietre pe voi, dar pentru asta ieczistă o iecsplicație…

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