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*De când venea Varanul în persoană, să le parfumeze studioul, n-au mai asudat vuvuzelele de la Antena 3 atât de intens ca aseară, când mai aveau puțin și dădeau în supradoză de poponeață flaușată. Începutul operației de scoatere din rahat al lui Dragnea l-a făcut Bogdan Chirieac, care, cât se poate de senin,  declara: „S-a luat un lac de la centru și s-a dat la județ, dar a rămas în România! N-a fugit Dragnea cu el în Bulgaria sau în Brazilia. Nu înțeleg, care-i crima?!” Așa e, domle, care-i crima? Nu vedeți cât e de patriot Daddy? Că el nu e ca alții, să fugă cu banii prin Elveția sau Panama, el e hoț patriot, tot ce fură ține în România, ceea ce înseamnă că nu el se îmbogățește, ci țara devine mai bogată și mai frumoasă!

Și tot morsa competentă, care cred că pentru declarațiile astea și-a luat la pachet o grămadă de știuci, că nenea Chirieac nu limbuiește pe nimeni, niciodată, pro bono, s-a întrebată, mirată: ”Cum să arestezi jumătate de guvern pentru o baltă?!” Are dreptate omul, băi, procurorilor, să faceți atâta caz pentru o baltă? Păi Iliescu a furat o Revoluție întreagă și nu v-ați mai opărit atâta! Oricum, de remarcat că ideea cu balta a fos preluată, la Sinteza zilei, de însuși Liviu Dragnea, care, sub privirile încurajatoare ale celor doi lingăi de serviciu, Gâdea și Badea, a afirmat: ”Este vorba de o suprafață de teren plină de bălării, care are și niște bălți”.

Ce mare chestie, frate, atâta vânzoleală pentru o baltă cu bălării? În loc să fim mulțumiți că a furat-o Dragnea, gospodar adevărat, să stârpească bălăriile, noi ne plângem c-a dispărut Belina? Adică era mai bine s-o lase acolo, în proprietatea statului, să se-aleagă praful de ea? Nu e mai bine că a luat-o el, pe persoană fizică, și acum arată ca heleșteul lui Escobar, de unde ies știucile cu icre de aur singure la suprafață, să se roage de el: ”Șefu, ia-mă pe mine, pe mine ia-mă, șefulică!” Chiar nu mai putem respecta nici măcar munca hoților în țara asta, băi, alde #rezist? Că toată ziua vă plângeți că e statul rău administrator și, când vine un bandit harnic, așa, ca Dragnea, să preia el afacerea și s-o facă la buzunare, imediat săriți în capul lui, că de ce a luat-o. Lăsați omul în pace, ce-aveți cu el? Aveți puțintică răbdare, că mai are nițel de furat din țară și pe urmă abia, când o fura-o pe toată, puteți să-i bateți obrazul că n-a furat-o legal.

În rest, emisiunea a fost o spălătură de cadavre clasică, în care, la preț de unu, s-au spălat trei: Dragnea, Rovana și Servila. Nu mai prididea Gâdea, cu buzișoarele, și Badea, cu limbuța, să curețe la ei, încurajându-l pe Daddy să fie cât mai lacrimogen, astfel încât acesta a mărturisit, până la urmă, că ticăloasa de Codruța vrea să-i ia și fiul – îl știți, loaza aia de-a dreptul alchimistă, care a transformat trei porci în zece mașini de lux – și să i-l bage la pușcărie. Vă imaginați cât au plâns sensibiloșii telespectatori ai Antenei 3 la faza asta? Cred că de când rulau ”O floare și doi grădinari” și ”Articolul 420” n-au mai bocit atâta! Colac peste pupăză, prin telefon a intervenit, la un moment dat – să mai primească și el niște limbi, nu de alta, că doar nu era să ia și toate limbile tot Dragnea! – și potențialul coleg de tinetă al lui Livache, Călin Popescu-Tăriceanu. Care, după ce s-a întrebat și el, retoric, ”o instituție a statului să se preocupe atâta de soarta unei bălți de pescuit?” a declarat că DNA vrea să dea o lovitură de stat și că acțiunile procurorilor, din 2009 și până azi, ”au dus la eliminarea elitelor din România”.

Da, da, l-am auzit clar, n-a zis belite, a zis elite! Și n-are dreptate? Are: numai uitați-vă pe cine a legat DNA – pe Becali, pe Vanghelie, pe Borcea, tot o elită, neică, și noi ne mai întrebăm de ce nu progresează România… Cum să progreseze dacă asemenea creiere ajung la pârnaie? Morala emisiunii a fost foarte simplă: dacă vreți să fiți și voi bogați, ca Dragnea, nu vă duceți să spargeți o bancă, ci încercați să furați o baltă și să le dați niște ciortanăși, de-o ciorbă, acolo, și nehaliților de la Antena 3. Se ocupă ei să vă scoată basma curată și pescar sportiv.

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