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*După ce Băsescu l-a numit, la mișto, „morsă competentă”, marele analist în viu Bogdan Chirieac s-a umflat atât de mult în pene încât așa a rămas și de-atunci crede că se pricepe la orice. Oriunde e vreo discuție, ceva, hop! și el, să graseieze nițel și să-și dea cu presupusa. Mă așteptam să-l văd aseară la Meteo sau la rubrica de Sport, explicându-ne prostia lui Tamaș, dar el moț, la emisiuni politice, să ne spună ca la proști cum stă treaba cu Udrea. Invitat la România TV, acest monument de înțelepciune lipidică a glăsuit: „Arestarea pe stradă a doamnei Udrea dă senzația că, în cauză, a fost și FBI-ul. Avem suspiciuni mai mult decât rezonabile că autoritățile din Costa Rica s-au automoblizat atunci când au intervenit americanii.” Bre, nea caisă, care americani? Că ăia care l-au arestat erau de la Interpol, iar Interpol nu este egal cu FBI. A, că FBI e și el interesat să vadă unde plimba Nuțica banii țării e altă chestie, cine n-ar fi interesat, ia întrebați niște români! Și mai zice Chirieac: „dacă informația este reală, că Elena Udrea dorește să colaboreze cu FBI-UL, lucrurile stau așa: autoritățile din Costa Rica o pot extrăda în Statele Unite. FBI-ul are capacitatea să-i ofere imunitate și altă identitate. SUA pot fi interesate de acuzații de corupție în România din partea corporațiilor străine, acolo unde DNA-ul n-a trecut pragul.” Stai jos, Bogdănele, azi ai patru, nu te-ai pregătit, să fii cu tac-to Voiculescu tuns la școală. Cum, măi, nene, să o extrădeze în Statele Unite pe Udrea? Păi Udrea e Guccifer, hackerul care a comis măgării direct contra americanilor și normal că ăia i-au cerut extrădarea? Nuțica nu e Guccifer, bre, e cel mult Buccidefer, dar asta n-are legătură cu America, sunt bucile ei și a făcut și face ce a vrut cu ele. Și despre ce corporații bălmăjești acolo? Crezi că de la corporații a agonisit feblețea lui Băselu milioanele alea multe de la poșețică? Nu, tati, le-a agonisit direct de la bugetul României, făcând șmenuri cu statul, nu cu corporațiile. Așa că nu Statele Unite pot cere extrădarea, că n-au niciun drept, ci România ar trebui să o ceară, în primul și în primul rând, America să mai stea la coadă la Duamna! Iar la cum merg „ievaluările” lui Slugărel e puțin probabil că asta o să se întâmple prea curând. Așa că, în loc să bagi fitile cu FBI, cu America, și să-i dai fetii speranțe deșarte, mai bine pune mâna, nenea Chirieace, și trimite-i udrei un foehn la vorbitor. Dar vezi să nu fie chinezărie ieftină, ci un foehn de firmă, din ăla care te usucă în primul rând de bani!

*Tot la România TV am văzut și o mostră de zgârmo-jurnalism, ca să-i zic așa. Acesta e un tip de jurnalism în care protagoniștii, reporteri sau redactori, nu transmit o știre, ci o creează din nimic, zgârmând în toate rahaturile, doar-doar o ieși ceva bun de păpică pentru ei. Oxiurii reteviști au urmărit-o pe stradă pe Adina Florea, propunerea lui Slugărel la șefia DNA, ca să vadă unde se duce, cu o zi înainte de a i se decide soarta. Și unde credeți că s-a dus? La biserică, domle! Ceea ce nu cred că e o mare crimă, așa cum era pe timpul lui Ceaușescu, așa că nu justifica un titlu de genul „A fost surprinsă la biserică”. Băi, vidanjorilor, ce faceți voi nu e presă. Presă era dacă o „surprindeați”, prin absurd, pe procuroare la masaj thailandez porno cu pitici, la păcănele cu banii primiți mită de la Pablo Escobar sau spărgând un milion de coco în Caraibe, deși ea nu câștigă atât. Astea da, erau titluri pertinente, pentru că ridicau niște probleme, dar așa, că s-a dus femeia la biserică? Oricine e liber să meargă la biserică, deși cred că demersul îi dăunează personal doamnei Adina. Că la biserică te învață să fii obedient, să fii supus, iar ea deja a declarat că n-a fost niciodată procuror independent. Iar băgăm obediență, doamnă? Aici ați greșit, să știți: cu o zi înainte să vă „ievalueze” Slugărel, nu la biserică trebuia să mergeți, ci la un psiholog motivațional, să vă crească încrederea în sine și să răcniți azi la Tudorel: „Nu mi-e frică de nimic, băi, lingăule! Mănânc corupți pe pâine dimineață, la prânz și seara! Codruța a fost nimic pe lângă mine, ia try me oleacă!”

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