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*Așa cum ne-a obișnuit, din Serbia vecină și prietenă temerarul Ghiță se mai trezește, din an în Paște – mă rog, în Crăciun – și-și mai aduce aminte că mai are o poză, o recipisă, o chitanță cu Kovesi – pe care evident că nu i le arată decât lui Cristoiu. Cum ieri Maistrul n-a fost de găsit, să mai vină și el prin Belgrad, să mai pape o pleșcaviță moca de la Ghiță, moguleanul doar ne-a vorbit, prin telefon, mai întâi la România TV. Unde a zis niște lucruri din care n-am priceput nimic, dar le las aici, poate le pricepe cineva: „Atunci când Kovesi afla că sunt date despre ce făceau în România, Onea şi Negulescu inventau un denunţ şi făceau un dosar. Aşa cum au încercat cu mine, aşa au încercat şi cu alţii. Am avut curajul să revin pentru că atunci nu era momentul, pentru că am vrut să mă feresc, nu aveam acea factură. De la o firmă din Ploieşti s-a plătit acea factură. Doamna Kovesi a ordonat lui Negulescu să meargă la acea companie şi să ia acea factură. Acum ne-am dat seama că Negulescu a făcut să dispară acea factură. Grav este că toată puterea lui Kovesi şi a DIICOT a fost folosită ca să se facă dosare false împotriva mea”. Așa, băi, Ghiță, și? Zici că n-aveai factura și dai de înțeles că acum o ai, dar peste doar o frază spui că Negulescu a făcut să dispară factura. Deci factura există, în original, a certificat-o cineva că e autentică, sau iarăși vii cu plastografii ordinare, făcute în Photoshop? Pe urmă, fiindcă nu aflaseră toți cretineții spălați pe creier de faza cu factura, Ghiță a intrat în direct și la Antena 3, unde a povestit, sub privirile uluite și gurile căscate ale lui Gâdea, Badea și celorlalți tiriplici ai lui Voiculescu, cum a achitat el, din buzunarul lui personal, banii pentru aducerea în țară a lui Popa de la FNI, tocmai din Indonezia: „Am dat bani pentru că mi-a cerut doamna Kovesi. Am plătit câteva zeci de mii de euro. La acel moment nu am perceput-o ca fiind o chestiune așa cum este, ca fiind mită. Era procurorul general al României, știți cum au fost vremurile. Kovesi, mai în glumă, mai în serios, spunea și ce avantaje ai dacă te ai bine cu ea și ce rele poți să pățești. Kovesi a cerut suma personal, a avut discuția personal cu mine, și viza interesul ei personal. Kovesi are un stil de-a face lucrurile, așa, nazist, extrem de agresiv și dur.” Bravos, Ghițucă, tocmai te-ai autodenunțat că ai dat mită, te-ai mai făcut cu un dosar, când o să se schimbe slugăreii ăștia aflați acum la putere și va veni un ministru al Justiției adevărat, să vedem pe unde mai scoți cămașa. Dar altceva voiam să te întreb, curajosule care stai ascuns în Belgrad: de plătit, plătești doar la procurori generali sau așa, la cine-ntreabă? Că uite, am o mătușă care ar avea nevoie de niște zeci de mii de euro pentru niște reparații la castelul ei din Spania și n-are momentan bani lichizi, cinstești și tu masa cu ceva? Hai, că ai de unde, doar ai făcut atâtea contracte de sute de milioane de coco cu statul român și softurile tale sunt renumite, zilnic pică sistemele, și la cardul de sănătate, și la ANAF, și la casa de pensii, se vede că le-ai făcut tu, geniule informatic care ești. Și stai liniștit, Ghițucă, atunci când o să vină momentul să fii extrădat, n-o să mai fie nevoie de Kovesi. Îți plătesc eu biletul de avion, cât poa’ să coste? Sau nu, știi ce? Mai bine te aduc cu mașina și le zic vameșilor că am un Ghiță în portbagaj, dar să stea liniștiți, că nu e din ăla cu pestă porcină!

*Pentru că i se terminaseră mușterii politici și n-avea pe cine să mai limbuiască săptămâna asta, ce credeți c-a făcut Lavinia Șandru, la TVR1? L-a invitat, ca să-l ridice în slăvi, în emisiunea ei, pe colegul Ionuț Cristache. Pentru că, nu știu dacă ați sesizat, dar fata pare să fie ca iepurii ăia care trebuie să ronțăie mereu ceva, să li se tocească dinții. Așa și ea: dacă nu dă o limbă-n ureche cuiva, îi crește limba și cine știe ce poate păți, săraca? Discuția dintre ei a fost memorabilă: doi sclaveți care se compătimesc reciproc fiindcă îi umple lumea de flegme, eufemistic vorbind: „Mi s-a pus eticheta asta, sclavul lui Voiculescu”, se vaită Sărmăluță, iar Lavinia își plânge de milă: „Cum aș putea să nu-mi amintesc eu că m-a trimis Băsescu pe centură” Și, te-ai dus până la urmă, că asta n-ai mai precizat? Sau deja te-ai și întors, stimată duduie? După care începe să-l întrebe pe marele analist Cristache despre chestiuni politice: USR? „Nu le înțeleg retorica agresivă.” Cioloș? „Un idol de tinichea. Împăratul e gol.” Aici intervine iar Lavinia și mai varsă o lacrimă de mila ei: „Mie-mi spui? În 2014 mi-am luat-o din toate părțile pentru că am pus o întrebare. Asta e, sufeream pentru Basarabia… Apoi am auzit că voiau unii să-mi verse cafeaua în cap.” Vai, ce limbaj elevat folosiți, duduie Șandru! Auzi la ea, „și-a luat-o din toate părțile”! Nasol, ce să zic, dar bine că a trecut, Lavinico. Fiindcă acum ți-o mai iei doar dintr-o singură parte, ba ți-o mai iei și pe bani mulți: 24.000 de euro pentru niște interviuri de rahat, cu toți rahații. 2000 de euro per interviu. Bine, cu Sărmăluță ar fi putut să-ți dea și televiziunea națională un spor de toxicitate, că băețașul venea direct din haznaua lui Voiculescu…

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