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*Alo, nenea Dan Voiculescu, Dom Profesor, bre, Varane, vreau și eu ce fumează Dana Grecu, că tare bine trebuie să fie! Pardon, nu Dana Grecu am vrut să spun, ci Dana Chera. Așa cum a anunțat distinsa prezentator aseară, în emisiunea lui Gâdea, că o cheamă mai nou. Dragii mei, dacă n-ați văzut secvențele, musai să le priviți aici, fiindcă fac toți banii, deși ce s-a întâmplat mi se pare mai inexplicabil decât OZN-ul din Târgoviște, care a tot rulat pe net zilele astea. Ori cel mai bine bărbat de la Antena 3 dăduse o fugă prin California, unde tocmai s-a legalizat cannabisul, ori domnul Voiculescu experimentează un nou opiu pentru popor, pe care Daddy îl va livra ulterior tuturor pensionarilor și bugetarilor prostiți, ca să vadă viața în roz deși situația e albastră. Sau, mai știi, o fi luat-o Dănuța rău pe ulei de Revelion și încă nu i-a ieșit alcoolul din sânge, de frică să nu-și ia bătaie la ieșire, probabil. Cert este că așa exaltată nu l-am văzut pe Dana Chera niciodată și cred că nici Gâdea nu l-a văzut, fiindcă și el era șocat, săracul. Cu atât mai mult cu cât, la începutul emisiunii, Chera, fostă Grecu, a mărturisit că are mulți copii și speră să mai facă! Păi, stai așa, mămică, noi știam că ai doar doi. Doi sunt mulți? Sau ai nește copii de care nu știe nici bărbatu-tău, mă rog, fostul bărbat? Și de ce să mai faci? Lasă, să mai facă și altele, uite Mircica Badea, de pildă, poate așa mai stă și ea pe acăsică, în post-natal și doi ani nu-mi mai vedem mutra pe sticlă. Acum trebuie să vă mărturisesc că tot nu m-am lămurit dacă Chera e numele de domnișoară al fostei doamne Grecu, deci a Dana a divorțat, sau s-o fi recăsătorit și e numele după noul soț, caz în care Coaliția pentru Familie o să fie tare mâniată – păi tot cu un bărbat, domnul Dana Grecu, tot cu un bărbat? Pune mâna și mai ia și-o femeie de nevastă, cum e normal și creștinește! Ceea ce vreau să vă mai spun, în încheiere, e că, la cât de bizar îi sclipeau ochii Danei aseară, cred că dac-aș vedea-o pe doamna/domnul Chera pe peron, la metrou, eu aș face imediat stânga-mprejur și aș lua autobuzul.

*Speriați probabil că vor fi dați în gât de Udrea ca fiind ”lichelele” pe care le-a umplut de bani când era ministresă, postacii de la Evenimentul zilei – că ziariști nu pot fi numiți – au băgat un fake-news de toată frumusețea, să aibă și Duamna o bucurie, chiar dacă scurtă (hai lasă, că nici cu Cocoș nu erau mai lungi!). Sub semnătura Ramonei Feraru – nimeni alta decât trompeta care s-a umplut de penibil acum câțiva ani, publicând gogomănia cu ”beția Monicăi Macovei”, pentru care nici până azi Evenimentul nu și-a cerut scuze – ziarul a titrat: ”Comisia de la Veneția, undă verde pentru Legile justiției”. O însăilare din care rezulta că Slugărel Toader ar fi obținut deja avizul Comisiei de la Veneția pentru legile fărădelegilor,  deci ele trebuie adoptate, iar penalii scăpați urgent de urmărire, în frunte cu Nuțica Udrea. Evident, după câteva ore în care a stârnit furtuni de indignare pe Internet, articolul a fost șters, dar postacii EvZ nu au fost suficent de isteți să șteargă și toate urmele de maro lăsate în online, astfel că linkul a rămas în cache-ul de la Google și puteți citi știrea acolo. De fapt, altceva cred că urmăresc tiriplicii ăștia: nu să ofere știri false cititorilor, ci să publice știri bune pentru Udrea, să-i mai treacă și ei spaima de bulău. Așa că până ajunge Duamna șefă de celulă la Târgșor, așteptați-vă și la titluri precum ”Abuzul în serviciu, scos din Codul Penal”, ”Luarea de mită, transformată în luare de milă și dezincriminată” și, mai ales, ”Băsescu divorțează! Nuți, ghici pentru cine bat clopotele de nuntă?”

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