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Nu știu cum se face, dar, de la o vreme, parcă a dat mizericordia creștină în judecătorii din România. Au început ăștia să-i ierte pe penali pe bandă rulantă, de parcă ar ști că o să crape curând și nu vor să se ducă la Sfântul Petru împovărați de gândul c-au băgat la pușcărie suflete neprihănite de corupți. Mai deunăzi, Mazăre a primit patru ani de închisoare cu suspendare pentru un banal prejudiciu de 114 milioane de euro. S-a milostivit de el aceeași doamnă care s-a milostivit și de băiețelul lui Țiriac, că abia-i mijiseră tuleiele, săracul, și deja erau albe ca făina sau ca heroina, nu mai știu sigur. Iar doamna nu e singura miloasă. Azi, și doamnele de la Curtea de Apel au vărsat o lacrimă de mila tovului Secureanu, fostul manager al Spitalului Malaxa și au dispus scoaterea lui din arest preventiv și trimiterea în arest la domiciliu. Adevărul e că, pe lângă Mazăre, Secureanu a fost chiar ageamiu și, chiar dacă a transformat spitalul în pușculiță proprie, de unde ciuguleau și el, și vrăbiuța lui, tot n-a reușit să fure mai mult de câteva milioane. Era absurd și nedrept să-l mai țină la zdup: adică Mazăre fură de zeci de ori mai mult și-l trimiți în Madagascar, la plajă, și Securică ăsta abia bagă gheruța până la prima falangă și-l ții la bulău?

Văzând acest val de milă din partea judecătorilor, te și miri de ce s-o mai chinui atât Dragnea să schimbe legile. Băi, Dragneo, fii deștept, mă, și nu mai face lucru mecanic degeaba. Ce te tot strofoci cu ordonanțe de urgență, cu dezbateri publice, cu prag de ciordeală, cu legi organice? N-are niciun rost. Dă-le și matale de-o ciungă la judecători, trimite-i vreo trei luni în cantonament, la un tenis cu piciorul la Copacabana, bagă-le un godac de la firma lui fii-to în portbagaj, că acușica vine Crăciunul și știi cum e, coruptul gospodar își ia iarna car și vara porc. Și pe urmă stai, relaxat, și aștepți sentința. Dacă lui Mazăre i-au dat patru ani cu suspendare, pentru că a furat ”dăcât” 114 milioane, tălică o să-ți dea pe viață cu suspendare, că ai furat toată România. Ba o să te și felicite pentru așa performanță și-o să te trimită direct în Brazilia, că ți-a albit mustața de-atâta stres.

Și cu doamna Nuți, cu domnul Ghiță și cu ceilalți domni și doamne care au jupuit țărișoara de vie, judecătorii o să facă la fel. Deși cu ăștia s-ar putea să nu mai fie așa de milostivi. S-ar putea să le dea arest la domiciliu, ceea ce ar fi cumplit pentru ei. Păi nu vă dați seama? Să legi de vilă un biet corupt, care are milioane ciordite în cont, dar știe că nu poate ieși din casă nici măcar până la pâine să le toace? Și apoi, credeți că e mare fericire să stai în arest la domiciliu? Vai de capul sărmanilor corupți! Să se trezească mereu, la ora 11, în același pat cu baldachin, să mănânce același caviar, să bea tot Dom Perignonul ăla demodat, să facă duș în aceeași cadă cu robinete de aur, saună în aceeași încăpere încălzită cu lemn de abanos și sex cu aceeași vrăbiuță plasticată pentru care și-au părăsit bombonica acum douăj de ani? E un coșmar! Așa că furați mai mult, băi, pârliților de corupți, să luați și voi pușcărie pe viață cu suspendare, ca Dragnea, ca să nu mucegăiți prin viloaiele de neam prost!

În concluzie, eu așa văd lucrurile: să nu mai stea, domle, niciun corupt la pușcărie. Să fure cât mai mult și pe urmă să fie condamnat la închisoare cu suspendare și pe zece vieți, dacă se poate. De fapt, dacă stau să mă gândesc bine, nu i-aș scoate chiar pe toți de la zarcă. Pe Borcea l-aș lăsa. Borcea să rămână acolo, că face copii la greu după gratii. Și să vină toate româncele mândre că sunt românce la el, să le toarne plozi la foc automat, ca să aibă și țara asta un viitor: unii o să iasă hoți, ca tac-so, ceilalți proști, ca mă-sa – păi altfel primii de la cine să mai poată fura?

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