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Dacă vă numărați, ca și mine, printre fraierii care au pus botul la ce spunea mai deunăzi Iohannis – anume că nu va desemna decât un premier mai neprihănit ca zăpada mieilor – faceți bine și dați-vă două palme în fața oglinzii. Eu mi le-am dat. Pentru că domnul cu moacă de consumator abonat la spirtoase pe care președintele l-a uns în fruntea țării numai neprihănit nu este. Și nu m-ar deranja atât că omul e securist până la ultima trombocită, în schimb mă calcă pe nervi să știu că e un hoțoman dovedit. Un individ care, ca și Ponta, și-a bazat cariera pe furt, încasând o gramadă de mangoți pe baza unui doctorat pe care l-a aruncat apoi unde s-a nimerit – cum aruncă mârlanii din Bucale punga cu sos de malaștroc când termină de înfulecat șaorma. Adică îl dai afară pe Ponta, că e plagiator, o refuzi pe Servila, că e vulnerabilitate pentru securitatea națională, în schimb îl pui pe neica-nimeni ăsta, simbolul mediocrității absolute, care, după ce-a terminat facultatea când aproape intrase la andropauză, a zăcut vreo cinci mandate prin Parlament fără să i se audă gurița? Nu mai zic de faptul că Iohannis, dacă era președinte și nu preș, putea să-i facă șah-mat pe papițoii pesediști, dându-le peste bot cu propria evaluare și zicându-le: ”Bine, Dragneo, adică de juma de an bolovanul ăsta n-a făcut nimic la Economie, are zero proiecte realizate, e nul, vid, nada, și voi vreți să vi-l pun premier? Păi dacă e atât de imbecil încât n-a fost în stare să bifeze o realizare, la un minister, credeți că sunt tâmpit să-i dau pe mână toată țara?” Dar uite că Iohannis n-a judecat așa. A venit, sobru, în fața nației, și a zis: ”Bă-băieți, trebuie să desemnez rapid un premier, ca să avem guvern”. Așa, să avem guvern, ca să ce? Să nu facă nimic din ce-a promis, cum n-a făcut nici precedentul cabinet, iar peste vreo trei luni, prin toamnă, viitorul ministru al Economiei să aibă tot zero realizări, să fie prost cu diplomă, incapabil, cu moacă de drojdier fruntaș, dar numai bun de cocoțat în locul lui Tudose?

Herr – sau, mă rog, după ultimele evenimente – frau Klaus Iohannis, de ce nu spuneți, mai bine, adevărul oamenilor? Ați acceptat din prima secătura asta amatoare de secărică nu fiindcă vă durea sufletul de mila stabilității țării, ci fiindcă vă plângea buzunarul de beletele alea prin străinezia, unde o să plecați acum ca să ungeți cu loțiune pentru plajă genunchii Primei Doamne. Ați făcut trocul ăsta murdar cu Dragnea doar ca să nu mai pierdeți vara prin Românica, deși știți prea bine – doar i-ați văzut de ce-s în stare – că Dragnea și ciracii lui o să dea foc la țară, o să facă praf justiția, o să lase în urmă pământul pârjolit, ca niște lăcuste bipede ce sunt. Și pe urmă o să veniți dumneavoastră pe cal alb, ca Salvatorul Nației, să ne mai cereți încă un mandat, sperând ca românii să zică: ”Decât să iasă țoapa de Firea, mai bine mai pun o dată ștampila pe Neamț, ce dracu’ să fac?”

Știu, domnule președinte, nu vă e teamă că Tudose, noua paiață proțăpită de Servicii la Palatul Victoria o să sufere vreodată de beția puterii, ca Grindeanu – fie și din pricină că, judecând după aspect, are antrenament vârtos când e vorba de beții. Dar nouă ne e teamă. Ne e teamă tocmai fiindcă Tudose va fi o marionetă care se va mișca în sfori cum îi cântă Dragnea. Și uite așa o să dea el lege să fie pragul la abuz fix cât vrea Dragnea, să scape și Bombonica, uite așa o să dezincrimineze corupția și hoția și, în special, așa o să-i permită unui pușcăriaș ca Dragnea să devină premier – pohta ce-a pohtit-o. Fiindcă e  absolut clar că pe nenea Tudosică ăsta n-o să-l prindă ora închiderii, ca să zic așa, la Palatul Victoria, pe final de an. Înainte de Crăciun bagă Olguța o primă de porc, mai mărește niște salarii, mai dă niște firimituri de cozonac la pensionari și pe urmă hopa! ne trezim de Revelion cu Liviu Dragnea prim-ministru. Nu vă vine a crede că ăsta e planul penalilor? După mârlănia cu ”noaptea, cu hoții”, îi socot în stare de orice. Doar că, de data asta nu-i văd bine dacă vor forța nota: nu de alta, dar, dacă-și mai bat mult joc de noi, s-ar putea ca de Crăciun să ne alegem singuri porcii.

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