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Vasile Iliuță, președintele CJ Călărași, un liberal care nu se teme să sufle în fiolă, dar se teme să nu i-o pună cineva.

Scăpat de tirania dulce și șăgalnică a Alinuței, fata cu sandvișul, PNL promitea să devină, sub Ludovic Orban, iarăși ce-a fost pe timpul Brătienilor și mai mult decât atât. Și adevărul e că acolo există mulți tineri capabili, precum Florin Cîțu, care au și temele făcute, și vorbele la ei și care chiar fac o autentică Opoziție la PSD. Din păcate însă, în partid mai zac însă – fiindcă asta fac, zac în Parlament și umflă leafa – o mulțime de cozi de topor, moștenire fie din partea defunctului PDL, fie din partea răposatului USL. Mai rău, și în teritoriu există o mulțime de liberali de cumetrie care, de-atâta băut din aceeași sticlă cu pesediștii, au deprins și metehnele lor.

Unul dintre ei este președintele consiliului județean Călărași, Vasile Iliuță, care aseară, aflat la volanul mașinuței personale, a fost oprit de polițiști, pentru un banal control în trafic. Omul a părut calm, până când a auzit că o să i se pună etilotestul. Atunci, toată calmețea la dispărut și din ipohondrie a dat-o în fandacsie, demarând în trombă și oprindu-se abia acăsică la el. Ce a urmat sunt scene de cascadorii râsului, cum numai în filmul cu Boureanu am văzut, dar fără pumni, ce-i drept. Polițiștii s-au luat după el și pe urmă au început să negocieze cu  domnu Iliuță prin gard, fiindcă liberalul, bun cunoscător al ”Caprei cu trei azi”, a refuzat să le deschidă, polițaii nefăcând dovada că ar avea asupra lor frunze-n buze, lapte-n țâțe, mălăeș în călcăieș, etc, etc.

Și, cum hoțul neprins e negustor cinstit, iar demnitarul nesuflat în fiolă e șofer treaz, o să aflăm mai curând cine l-a împușcat pe Kennedy decât dacă domnu Iliuță era sau nu rangă la volan, aseară. Evident, domnia sa se apără, susținând că totul e o înscenare: ”După modul în care s-a acționat sunt convins că acest scandal ieftin, denigrator și rău intenționat este concertat. Aseară la apariția Poliției în fața locuinței mele am discutat cu comandantul Politiei Municipale Călărași, Nelu Paraschiv, și am spus că le stau la dispoziție astăzi. Nu mi s-a solicitat să îi însoțesc către secția de poliție și nici testarea cu aparatul etilotest. Știrile apărute în presă nu corespund realității, fapt pentru care voi acționa în consecință. Nu mă sustrag niciunui control indiferent de ce natură ar fi el, respect legea și sper ca oamenii să înțeleagă că de 1 an și jumătate sunt ținta unei campanii de denigrare pentru simplul fapt că deranjez anumite interese.”

Ce înțelegem noi aici? Că, de fapt, mititelul e nevinovat și există o conspirație globală a reptilienilor și marțienilor de ziua a opta, care și-au propus să-l denigreze fiindcă le-a deranjat interesele. Și mai înțelegem că demnitarii, indiferent că sunt de la PNL sau PSD stau la dispoziția legii nu când vrea vreun oareșcare Garcea de la Circulație, ci când dorește mușchiul lor sfincterian să stea. Din spusele lu domnu Iliuță rezultă, așadar, că polițaii erau nebuni și, fără să-i ceară omului să-l testeze, s-au luat după el, așa, nitam-nisam. Pentru că președintele CJ Călărași nu se sustrage niciunui control, indiferent de ce natură ar fi el, doar să nu aibă loc seara, în zilele  de joi și când se-ntoarce demnitarul acasă pe câte cărări dorește dumnealui. Concluzia e una singură: dacă vreți să fiți și voi domnu Iliuță, înscrieți-vă în PNL. Și, când v-o cere agentul să suflați în fiolă, îi ziceți, în față ”Je suis Iliutza, garsoane!”, apoi vă urcați la volan și plecați, frumușel, acasă. Căci așa merge treaba în România: dacă vrei să rămâi cu carnet de conducere, trebuie să ai, mai întâi, carnet de partid.

 

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