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Ei, uite că a aflat, în sfârșit, și satul ce pân-acum știa doar bărbatul: că reușita în viață depinde de câte eugenii mănânci pe zi. Cum care bărbat, mai întrebați? Bărbatul țării, eroul între eroii neamului, Cârmaciul din Saelele, Superman de Teleorman: Liviu Dragnea. Care a declarat ziariștilor că e cu eugeniile de când era mic. Ei, vedeți că avea dreptate Bombonica să divorțeze? Că dacă o înșela Liviu „decât” cu fătuca aia blondă, mai mică decât el cu vreo trei decenii, ar fi închis biata femeie ochii, dar așa, s-o înșele, domle, cu câteva Eugenii pe zi? Inadmisibil!

Acum ați înțeles, dragii mei, de unde are Dragnea și baltă la Belina, și căsoaie la Alexandria, și palat la Fortaleza, și Amazonia trecută pe numele lui? Din eugenii, normal. Că el n-a fost ca alții, să mănânce caviar și să bea șampanie, el a mâncat eugenii și a băut apă de la ”ghivetă” și-așa a făcut avere. Și tot așa poate să justifice averea aia uriașă, agonisită dintr-o leafă de bugetar: e suficient să le arate procurorilor ambalajele de la Eugenii și dinții galbeni și cariați din gură, pentru ca nimeni să nu mai aibă nimic cu el. Păi nu e clar? Omul n-a furat un capăt de ață, ci doar a mâncat eugenii și atât, iar din restul banilor și-a tras vile, piscine, bălți, limuzine. Oricine, dacă ar mânca eugenii cât Dragnea, tot așa s-ar îmbogăți – și dacă nu credeți, n-aveți decât să încercați. Vă garantez că, dacă nu crăpați de diabet, în cel mult o mie de ani o să vă faceți și voi vilă pe patru străzi!

Mai nasol pentru Dragnea e că unele pesediste sunt cam geloase pe Eugenia asta, cu care șefu la bani din PSD stă toată ziua-n gură. De aceea, Abramburica și Gabriela Firea i-au pus gând rău masculului-alfa și par decise să instaureze matriarhatul în Partid. Cu toate că multe filiale și-au manifestat deja adeziunea, în cel mai grețos stil ceaușist, față de realegerea ”celui mai iubit fiu al neamului (prost)”, la Congresul de sâmbătă e posibil să apară surprize. Nu din partea bărbaților, pentru că, de la Grindeanu și Tudose încoace ne-am lămurit că în PSD nu există bărbați, ci doar purtători ilegali de puță, ci din partea femeilor. Cele două orfeline de funcții mai sus pomenite vor profita de noua prevedere din statutul PSD – din cei 16 vicepreședinți, jumătate trebuie să fie femei – și vor căuta să-l încolțească pe Dragnea. E drept, printre celelalte vicepreședinte se vor număra și fetele-n casă ale lui Dragnea – servila, rovana, doamna cu pavianul, doamna cu priza etc – dar s-ar putea să asistăm la o răsturnare a meselor, în sensul că Marele Lider va rămâne izolat, alături de amazoanele lui. Și asta pentru că și cel mai bătut în cap pesedist a înțeles acum că Dragnea e în stare să-i elimine sau să-i vândă pe toți ca să scape el cu bine.

Rând pe rând, Grindeanu, Tudose, Oprișan, Bădălău, Codrin, Pleșoianu, până și garsonul ăla tuciuriu al Olguței, Claudiu Manda de ploaie, au realizat că nu valorează în ochii lui Dragnea mai mult decât ambalajele de la Eugenii. Au realizat că tocmai Dragnea, ăla care se bătea non-stop la televizor cu ”statul paralel”, era bot în bot cu statul respectiv, pe la chermeze, tăieri de porc & de moț și alte paranghelii. Mărturia lui George Maior în acest sens e clară – și stați să auziți ce-o să declare și Coldea, care trebuia să ciripească azi, dar vai, un guturai pârdalnic l-a împiedicat să se prezinte la comisie, deci audierea lui se amână cu o săptămână. Așa că Dragneo, ai grijă: s-ar putea ca sâmbătă să ai parte de surprize, la drum de seară, de la niște dame de pică și să-ți cam pierzi puterea în Partid. Dar nu te supăra prea tare, fiindcă se poate și mai rău: ai prefera ca în loc să simți în ceafă răsuflarea parfumată și blondă a doamnei Pandele, s-o simți pe-aia urât mirositoare a șefului de celulă?

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