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Trebuie să ai un obraz nițel mai gros decât șoricul guițătorilor tăiați pe vremuri de Daddy cu statul paralel ca să numești noua taxă de protecție, impusă băncilor, „taxă de lăcomie”. Și totuși, Teodorovici chiar așa a numit-o, venind în întâmpinarea tezelor de o inestimabilă valoare teoretică și practică, lansate duminică de primul drogangiu al țării, Liviu Dragnea. Mai mult decât atât, trebuie să ai de-a dreptul șoric în loc de piele ca, după ce te-ai împrumutat 11 miliarde de euro de la marile bănci ale lumii, ca să ai bani de pomeni bugetare și de pensii speciale, să vii acum și să pui șișul la gât acelorași bănci, șuierându-le, ca haiducii de pe Vlașca: „Dați banii, boierilor!” Poate că Orlando o fi tras ceva pe nas pe la discotecă, măcar un șpeis ieftin, cu stăpânul lui, de e atât de optimist. Românii nu sunt însă deloc optimiști. Pentru că, spre deosebire de entuziastul sinistru de Finanțe, care crede că dacă bagă mâna în buzunarul băncilor și corporațiilor, o să aibă de unde plăti salarii, pensii și excursii de vis în Brazilia, românii știu un lucru: dacă fotbalul e un joc în care evoluează două echipe și câștigă întotdeauna nemții, și economia e un joc în care evoluează mulți jucători, dar câștigă întotdeauna băncile.

Cu alte cuvinte, toate taxele astea impuse băncilor, nu le vor plăti băncile, că nu-s proaste, ci le va plăti clasa medie din România, și așa cocoșată de impozite, și hăituită de ANAF. Partea care ar fi comică, dacă n-ar fi tragică, e că, de vreme ce până acum statul pesedist s-a împrumutat în disperare la bănci, ca să acopere golul din vistierie, tocmai acest stat de lichele contribuie major la creșterea ROBOR. Și acum vine Orlando, plin de tupeu, să ne spună că băncile trebuie fripte la buzunar, nenorocitele și scârbilii dreaq, că uite ce dobânzi mari au! Bravos, musiu Orlando, curat neconstituțional, dar umflă-le banii, că nu mai are Partidul de unde-și plăti curvetele!

Ce se va întâmpla, după aceste măsuri pompieristice, luate, cum spuneam, cu șișul la gâtul băncilor și al tuturor oamenilor cinstiți din țara asta? În primul rând, ratele la bănci vor exploda, și de acest lucru vor fi afectați la greu și bugetarii. Apoi, fiindcă taxa de viciu, din care se făceau, teoretic, investiții în sistemul medical, a trecut direct la mațul gros al bugetului, așteptați-vă ca în spitale să nu mai vedeți nici măcar aparatura și condițiile de până acum, deși s-ar putea, ca bonus, să primiți mai mulți gândaci și mai mulți stafilococi. În fine, confiscarea pilonului II de pensie va duce după sine o panică generalizată și 7,5 milioane de români se vor grăbi să-și retragă banii rapid, până nu îi fură alde Teodorovici și gașca de bandiți. Bursa se va prăbuși, băncile, corporațiile și multinaționalele – adică exact cei mai mari contributori la bugetul de stat – vor pune lacăt pe filialele din România și vor pleca în alte țări, unde nu se practică japca de partid și de stat. Pe scurt, economia va intra în colaps și nimeni nu va mai veni să investească pe aceste meleaguri ale capitalismului sălbatic de cumetrie.

I-am auzit pe mulți avertizând că în doi ani vom ajunge ca Venezuela, și că mai bine ar fi să ne facem de pe acum stocuri de hârtie igienică, fiindcă nici așa ceva n-o să se mai găsească prin supermarketuri. Dar sunt sigur că, deși sunt repetenți la economie, în privința acestei probleme guvernanții vor găsi o soluție: păi de-aia am avut noi cea mai mare producție de porumb din Europa, ca să irosim cocenii, cu care votanții PSD deja sunt obișnuiți?

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